I (32M) have been with my partner (28F) for 9 years. They recently told me they had been raped 3 times by a college classmate 5 years ago. Once on a school trip, once after hours in their lab at school, and then the last time -- which is where I need advice -- in his truck after a party. These all spanned with 2 months of eachother. I of course believe my partner, but the third time is bugging me and I don't know how to process these feelings.
On the night of the 3rd (last) assault, my partner and I had gone to party where everyone in her graduate program was, including their rapist (I had not known at the time). After the party, my partner and I went home, had sex, and ordered McDonald's. After eating I went to sleep because I wasn't feeling great from the alcohol and McDonald's combo. My partner did not. I heard the door close and texted them asking where they went at 2am. They responded that they just wanted to go for a walk and that they'd be home soon. After an hour and half, I started freaking out and went out in our small neighborhood looking to see if they were okay. I then saw her get dropped off in front of our house by a truck.
We got into a huge fight and I asked where she really was. She said that she was sorry she lied, and that she wanted to meet up with her classmate because he had just broken up with their friend and needed to talk about it.
I asked why she lied about going for a walk, and she said she was sorry and didn't know why she lied. She said she was worried I would be upset that she went to go meet him. We fought about this on and off for a week, but I eventually forgave her because she had never given me a reason not to trust her.
Fast forward to the present, she has now informed me the man that dropped her off was her rapist, and that he also raped her in the truck again that night. I dont know how to process this. Has anyone been in a similar situation, and do they know how to move forward? I've read a lot about surviving sexual abuse and how trauma can manifest. I love my girlfriend but my brain feels bad and weird about everything.