I hate nursing
I have only been a nurse for about 9 months and I hate it. I work for a very well known, large teaching hospital. A hospital that people would dream working for. I look back and I don’t even know why I went to nursing school. When people ask me why I became a nurse I honestly don’t have a good answer for them. Nobody in my family works in healthcare. I graduated college and it just seemed like the right thing to do. I should have seen it coming when I literally dreaded doing nursing school clinical. But I kept telling myself that it would get better. That once I became a nurse it would all be worth it. I dread going to work. I cry before work, after work. I feel like this job has made me so depressed. I don’t even feel like doing anything on my days off.
I’m a good nurse. I still have so much to learn as I haven’t even been in the field for a year, but I do good. I’m meticulous, I’m very good at time management, I communicate well with patients. I often get complimented for being a good nurse. I care about my patients. I try to do everything I can to make them feel better. That to say, hating my job doesn’t show. But I can’t get out of work fast enough. I don’t enjoy small talk with patients or their families. I have great coworkers but I don’t even really feel like talking to them. I’m just over it. Sometimes families are talking to me and I wish I could just turn around and leave. I’m so burnt out.
What do I do? I won’t be in this job for longer than 6 months as life circumstances are causing me to move locations. I’m in the process of looking to buy a house, and nursing makes good money, but I don’t want to subject myself to another bedside experience and hate it even more. I look daily for remote opportunities, or even clinic/outpatient opportunities, but they are hard to come by where I am moving. Part of me is telling myself to suck it up but the other part is telling me that life is too short for me to have a job that makes me hate my life.
Thank you for listening to my rant. I feel that I can’t be truly honest with the people in my life because they don’t understand bedside and I don’t want them to feel bad for me.