how to deal with retroactive jealousy
i physically cannot move forward with this guy ive been talking to because im constantly thinking about his ex gfs/talking stages. Its not like i think they are better than me or that im lacking in anything compared to them, but i just cant help but imagine what he was like with those past girls before me...(comforting them, buying things for them, losing his v card with one). It might sound insecure, but i physically get nauseous thinking about intimate moments he shared with other girls. Like wdym he held and kissed other females? And like whenever we talk about any of his exs, I feel so upset and disgusted at him even though im the one asking about it.
I dont want to be this way, but i physically cannot help the empty pit in my stomach whenever i think about his past.. like most of the time ill get so upset that i start to silently resent him too. But i RLLY like this guy, and i want to be official with him (i feel as if he could be my literal soulmate) but i want to find a way to get rid of this jealousy before we make it an official relationship.