u/Far-Butterscotch2814

Hey! I'm actually looking for someone who can be my best friend, I don't mind the gender i just want somebody to talk, laugh, cry and share memes with. I'm diagnosed with chronic major depression so I've been struggling with that lately... I don't have any friends now.. it's not like I never had friends.. I had some friends in middle school but they left me after middle school.. right now I was crying for like an hour and now I decided to make a post here hoping for someone to respond.. my interests are music and drawing sometimes and I promise I'll try my best to be a good friend!

I know I'm so fucking young to die but it's too painful to exist now. I'm so fucking tired of living now. It's been a year since I got diagnosed with major depressive disorder, and instead of getting better, it's getting worse every single day. I stay in bed for hours doing nothing. existing feels exhausting now. I barely have energy to exist anymore, all I do is cut my arms when it feels too much. have no friends. I had some but they left me after middle school. Nobody checks on me. Nobody asks how I'm doing unless I completely break down first. Even my family seems tired of me now. I can feel it. I know people get exhausted dealing with someone who's depressed all the time, but it still hurts so bad feeling like you've become a burden to everyone around you. I try talking to people online because I honestly don't know what else to do anymore, but I never know how to explain what's happening inside my head. How do you tell someone that every day feels heavy for no reason? That you wake up already exhausted? That you feel lonely even when people are around? I don't really know the version of me that could actually feel things normally. Now it's like I'm just surviving days instead of living them. I don't even know why I'm posting this. Maybe I just want someone to hear me for once.