u/Far-Band-4406

I’m 24 and have been with my partner (26M) for 7 years. We got together when we were 18 and 19, and honestly, the first 5 years were amazing.
Almost 2 years ago I got pregnant unexpectedly. We were both really happy and decided to keep our baby. Our son is now 17 months old. During the early pregnancy, things felt good, but after the first scan he started pulling away. He’d say he couldn’t get time off work or would “run late” and miss appointments, so I ended up going alone or with my sister.
As my pregnancy went on, I started feeling neglected. He’d tell me I was “getting too excited” or going overboard with buying things, even though this was my first baby and I just wanted to be prepared. We didn’t live together due to finances, but my mum offered me a room and space for a nursery. He didn’t like that idea and wanted me to stay at his mum’s, even though there wasn’t really space for a baby.
I ended up paying for pretty much everything myself furniture, clothes, essentials and he didn’t contribute financially. Around that time, he started going out more, making excuses about work, and staying away. I got suspicious and confronted him, but he denied anything was going on.
We went on holiday, and while there I had severe stomach pain and went to the hospital thinking I might be in labour. He didn’t come with mehe stayed behind drinking. Later, I found out he’d told people I was “sleeping” while he was out. When I confronted him, he said he was anxious about becoming a dad and had been avoiding it by drinking. We talked it through, and things improved for a bit.
Then I went into labour while he was out with a friend. I couldn’t get hold of him for hours. He eventually showed up shortly before our son was born. That same night, after I’d just given birth, he left to go home because he had work the next day. I was left alone with a newborn, exhausted, while my family were in shock that he’d even leave.
The months after that were really hard. I had gallstones and was in and out of hospital, sometimes having to leave my baby behind. He never visited me. On Mother’s Day, I was in hospital, and it was my family not him who brought me cards and flowers.
At that point, I left him. He begged me to come back, saying he was struggling and didn’t want our son growing up in a “broken home.” Looking back, I think I let that guilt influence me.
Fast forward to now: he’s been living with me for 5 months, but nothing has really changed. I work, take care of our son, handle nursery drop-offs and pick-ups, cook, clean, do bedtime everything. He doesn’t help, doesn’t contribute financially, and just sits there while I do it all. My mum ends up helping me more than he does.
Recently, things have gotten worse. He’s started accusing me of cheating, even making bizarre claims like saying I was in a porn video (which was clearly not me). He comes home drunk (and I suspect possibly on drugs), and he’s become really controlling. I went to a family party and asked for one night to enjoy myself, and he showed up and sat in the next room like he was watching me.
At this point, I feel completely drained. I resent everything that’s happened, and I don’t feel like I can move past it. I don’t even want to be around him anymore. I’m already doing everything on my own, so part of me feels like life would actually be easier without him.
I also can’t shake the feeling that his behavior now is coming from guilt that, maybe he has done something behind my back.
I guessq I’m just looking for outside perspective… am I wrong for feeling ready to leave?