u/Far-Ad1942

From an early age I was consuming drawings of porn, not even into photos or videos of real women, because of this I was never interested in pursuing a relationship or was into having sex IRL. It's something I want for myself but don't truly desire at the moment, my body doesn't react to women in the way I think it should. But it's always been like that, I don't know how it should feel so I'm very lost in how I should feel about anything.

I feel alienated reading posts because at least you guys have a goal to work towards. I'm just doing this to cure PIED but I have no motivation to be with anyone because I'm not even fantasizing about real scenarios anyways. My tastes are warped and I know they can revert but it will likely take years for me. The anxiety and depression is becoming unbearable. One moment I'm fine and another I feel like it's too much to handle

I found after relapsing maybe 500 times (no exaggeration) I've only got to the 7 day mark maybe 5 times. I'm on day 7 and what really helped me was Gary Wilsons "Your Brain on Porn". Go on audible or buy the actual book. It's very very encouraging to hear the breadth of recovery stories and scientific evidence regarding the reboot/re-sensitization process while abstaining from porn. I would listen to it while walking the dog or driving. Surrounding myself with content about this topic has also made it feel like I'm not a 1 in a billion freak and that all of this really is reversible if you just give it the time.

He also has long lectures uploaded and ted talks but the audiobook was fantastic it really has helped prevent relapse for me, if you feel like you've tried everything like I have this has made it easier to push past day 4 which is usually the day I give up

If anyone has had similar experiences with getting over heavy fantasy-based porn addiction, I'd really appreciate any insight or tips. My situation feels pretty niche.

I've been addicted to furry porn since I was 11-12. I used daydreaming and fantasy to escape reality, the drawings hooked me first but it became extremely obsessive after I got into VNs and fanfiction. With todays tech involving AI and chatbots its only gotten worse cause I can create and interact directly with the fantasy with ease. Because I started with this genre so young, I never developed any real interest in anyone IRL. It feels like I'm just stuck like this, I'm attracted to pixels and fantasy that real life can never compete with. Also not to mention the stress of hiding this fetish is extremely stressful and exhausting. No one in my life knows what I'm into besides my therapist.

I hate what I'm looking at and I feel like a freak for letting it get this bad. It's caused me to question my sexuality so much that I even slept with other men IRL just to try and feel something. It was awful and I regret it deeply. For years I'd PMO 2-6 times a day, every single day, often edging for hours. Most of the time I wasn't even fully hard I'd just keep going for one last rush. It's sick and pathetic. I can't remember the last time I had morning wood or a spontaneous erection. That probably stopped around age 16-17, and I'm 26 now.

For me, it's more of a masturbation and fantasy addiction than just porn. I'm usually not even that into looking at the images unless I'm actively masturbating to them. I officially tried to quit two years ago and found that I literally couldn't. Despite my conviction and knowing how bad it is, I still haven't made it past 10 days. It's gotten to the point where at my worst I wanted to die just so I could maybe experience the fantasy in some kind of afterlife. Really fucked up shit.

I'm very fit, have a great social circle and a good job, but this addiction is taking over everything positive in my life. It's gotten in the way of work, hobbies, and completely removed any chance of a healthy relationship or sex life. I feel like I never grew up and became the man I was supposed to become.

I've been in therapy for two years and I've learned a lot. I read Your Brain on Porn by Gary Wilson, it gave me amazing insight and motivation. I'm currently on Day 4 and I feel like I'm gonna die. I want to look so bad, but I won't give in. I've caught myself hundreds of times a day about to relapse, but I can't keep doing this to myself.

There are so many layers to this that make it really hard to quit. I'm addicted to drawings and animations of things that aren't real and can never be real. On top of that, the content conflicts with my sexuality, so when I quit I'm left confused about what I even like. I'm a grown man and still don't know. Even thinking of the fantasy feels like I'm relapsing.

It will likely take years to fully get over this obsession with the fantasy or maybe not. Who knows? Only one way to find out.

Wish me luck. I appreciate any stories and motivation it really does help.