My 19 month old daughter passed away on march 6th. She was in the hospital and they still don’t know what caused it. The autopsy showed nothing and the worst part for me right now is not knowing why. Nothing feels real or important ever since. Not work, not family, just nothing. It’s like an empty void inside me and I’m just on autopilot while I slowly go insane.
I have 2 other children and I know I need to be here for them, but I just can’t make myself be happy. Every time I’m with them all I can think about is the part of my soul that is missing and I don’t know what to do.
I sit here and find myself slacking at work and my other kids can probably see that I’m not normal, but I don’t know how to explain to them why their little sister is not home anymore.
I haven’t believed in god for a long time so I can’t tell them she’s in heaven and it’s all so confusing for them and for me. I find myself constantly angry. Angry at the world, angry at work, angry at home.
I just don’t know how to cope with this and it’s messing me up. Does anyone have any advice for me?