u/Fantastic_Joke_6889

Some back history we have been married over a decade and fought almost from the beginning. I've consistently held down the same job/career for 18 years and 2 jobs for the past 9 years so she could be a stay at home mom. Now I'm not perfect. I've had my problems and issues with losing my best friend and with drinking and an extremely stressful job as a fire fighter in a low income high call volume city. I'm a sinner and in need of Christ. That being said I work hard, get my family to church, pray with them, interact with them. Help clean and cook a little. But I hate cooking and I am prone to just eat out rather than cook. The issue is I can't seem to do anything right in my wife's eyes. Then today she was going off on a tangent and I just stayed silent and after berating me she started calling herself a bad mother and wife and just generally putting herself down. Is this what you would call projection? She is not perfect but I think she is a good wife and mother for the most part. She has had mental issues and issues with jobs before she met me. We are in a church which I thought would help but maybe we are just overlooked or maybe they gave up on us. Long story short I think she hates herself and doesn't say nice things to herself and takes it out on me. I just don't know how to help her. I'm at a loss. She also hates it when I compliment her on anything but especially her body. Which she is in good shape but she hates compliments. Is it just me? What am I doing wrong?