I 34F and him 33M. Should I just let it end like this?
There's a guy I'm talking with. We have been talking for more than a year and we fight a lot because of a girl he often play online gameswith. For context, the girl is 16F when they met last year, a few weeks after I met him. This dynamic challenges my mind so much that I become so anxious every time I know they are together. I will only get answers, a bit of my whys, months after I questioned them usually when we have already talked about the same issue for so long.
He said he knows her brother, and I thought it was a sister of a friend but it turns out he only played once with the girl's brother, that's it. That she lied about her age at first. That they are talking on Discord while playing games just the two of them. They also watch movies or series. That he has been having a snapstreak with this girl for months, around 2-3 months, exchanging more than a thousand pictures with each other which she later claimed that the picture he gets is a picture she sends to a lot of people. That he created a Roblox account for her when he mocked them for stealing game ideas when I talked about how I played Roblox with my niece and nephews sometimes, which by the way I understand because I love reading and I experience this kind of app too, where users steal novels from different websites.
During her school break, they are even playing every day for two months and he said it was because she will be busy again after school and they are just getting the most out of her vacation to play. But afterwards, they still play regularly, because it turns out she has more time now. He will randomly send me several wrong messages that are supposedly for her when they are playing together. He will try games with her that I wanted to play with him but he refused to play with me. Even at first he was the one who was so excited to make me try games he was playing. He even bought a game she has just to be able to play with her, which he said only cost him a euro, I have accessed in his Steam account because I play on it too and it is around 3 euros. I know that’s nothing but why does he have to downplay it? She is on his every social media account that he has. And because of a random thought that I wanna see how I'm named in his phone, I asked him to screenshot his whatsapp, and ofcourse she was there again with a missed call notification. I don't know if he truly answered any of her calls but he doesn't do that with me.
So with this, every time we have plans that happen to coincide with their games or hangouts, I will be forgotten, or I have to wait. And then I will be mad and ask him about it but he will also be mad and act so defensively when I question him. This is the only thing we always fight for, everything else is really good. I often ask him about certain issues and some of them also brushed issues with grooming, and his opinion is always solid. So I always questioned myself if maybe I am really overreacting. And if there's someone here who is judging me for not being worried about the girl, I do, I have a lot of nieces and that's why I never understand this dynamic but also because he always said that there's nothing.
He said the girl is too mature for her schoolmates and was after his brother, her interests were different from those of the people around her and so I sucked it up and tried to understand it. Last November I even asked him to introduce her to me, which he never did. Until we fought again last month because of him playing longer with her while I was waiting for him because he was supposed to watch a series with me. He said that he doesn't want to try this relationship anymore. Questions never stopped, especially since they started hanging out more often again and I still questioned him about it.
So I talked to her, on my own, I know, I felt bad because I felt I caught her off guard. She somehow knows me, even though my username in discord aren't really my name. She wondered why I called her and I apologized and explained to her why. She denied that she was on Snapchat or ever been in snapchat, it shocked me, so I asked again, and again, and again. Then she said yes, she said she deleted it already but also said afterward that she created a new account. I don't know which is which. I asked her where they met and if the day they added each other on Steam is the first time they met, she said yes but 2 days before the date she said they met in The Finals game on Steam, he wrongsend something in Snapchat that is supposedly for her, I didn't tell her this. She also said that he never asked for them to hang out, that she always chatted with him first, and that he can say no if he wants to. That she somehow stayed away from him because she was so attached to him and overwhelmed but she went back after a month. And then I talked to him the next day, he sent me a screenshot of their convo when she messaged him that I called her and asked "Does she know how we met?". I questioned him about her being so attached to him, and he just shrugged and said that it doesn't matter and he doesn't care even if she really does have feelings for him because his intent is good and he never thought about anything like that with her. I told him his intent is walking but the impact is running. I never knew he took it so badly that I talked to her until I learned now that he told her that I’m always looking for a problem and that’s annoying him a lot. We only fight because of this issue, and yes, I admit, a lot but I always thought he understood my point.
**TL;DR;** I’m talking to a guy who plays online games with a minor.