I think my fiancé is cheating on me
I, 33 F, have been engaged to my, 35 M, fiancé for a little over a year, dating for 4. Lately, I’ve been noticing little quirks or statements that make my mind spiral into thinking he’s cheating on me. Last week he mentioned we should start watching The Big Bang Theory, which was out of the realm of our normal shows. In the past, whenever he has recommended a show, it’s always been due to a recommendation from someone else. This could be as innocent as a coworker, but my head goes elsewhere. Two days ago, after having sex, I mentioned that it hurt a lot, and he suggested that I possibly have endometriosis. He is a blue collar man’s man and does not know anything about the details of the women’s reproductive system. So how does he know about endometriosis and that it can cause pain during sex? A couple weeks ago I saw he had sent someone a picture of his hand on a new lawnmower. Would he send this to a friend..or a girl he’s talking to? Last night I caught him smiling at his phone and of course, my head went to “he’s talking to a girl”. He does leave his phone lying around and anytime I’ve looked at it, I’ve never noticed any texts from a girl. I have voiced my insecurities/concerns about the possible cheating/talking to someone else in the past so much so to the point where he gets extremely pissed off now and says he’s done with the false accusations. One of the reasons that I feel he is, or would, talk to another girl, is because we had a pretty hearted argument very soon into our relationship. He was drinking and yelled “I knew I should’ve kept entertaining my ex!” Which obviously just leads me to spiral even more about this. He’s never been overly affectionate or really gone out of his way to do something nice for me, but lately he’s been very hot and cold, and I don’t know how to feel about it. He also is spending a lot of time working on his hobbies rather than spending time with me. He thinks spending time together counts as lying in bed on our phones, not speaking to each other. He has hid/lied to me about things in the past, such as using zyns and continuing to use them after I drew a hard line in the sand about it. Also, I found some condoms tucked in the back of a drawer that he uses daily. I checked the expiration date and it’s in 2027. About a year ago, we broke up for several months, and I’m thinking they were from that frame of time, but I’m not sure. I don’t know what to think anymore. Other things that have been driving me crazy - about 2 years ago, I found a condom wrapper in the couch. He swears he doesn’t even know when it’s from, and from his lack of cleaning habits, it very well could be from years ago. I have found prescriptions for things that he’s never told me about - Viagra (says it’s a blood pressure medicine), Norco that he had me pick up from a shady looking pharmacy, has BAGS of antidepressants hidden in his bathroom cupboard and closet that he clearly isn’t taking, a diet pill that once again was prescribed from shady looking pharmacy, etc. Am I being overly paranoid about everything or is he cheating on me? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.