I found out something a night before a major exam which led me to have weak limbs and stomach pain. I called on a friend with bloodshot eyes and just hugged him but was not able to tell him anything. He helped me study through the night and the exam went alright but I am feeling this sense of disgust and betrayal which isn't letting me do anything right now. I want to tell it out but it's such a long story and I never told anyone the entire story because no one was ready to listen, and now I am unable to tell anyone even if they are ready to listen. I tried telling an ai bot but typing it out makes me sick too. It is making me randomly blank out. I have taken ashwagandha for reducing stress but it only stops the tears from coming, but doesn't do anything about how I'm feeling in my gut. I haven't felt this way since I was 14 and suicidal. I am feeling a weird combination of apathy, fatigue and mental fog. I can think clearly but I can't attend the same time. I haven't eaten anything in 36 hours and I don't have an appetite. I never believed in therapy but I need to get it out, and I am genuinely unable to do so.
Please help.