Does this fit Greyromantic experience?
I'll preface this by saying I'm an adult and also asexual. This might be confusing to read for most people so I apologize in advance.
I used to identify as aromantic for a long time because it seemed to fit my experience the most. But lately I feel like I'm misusing that label and maybe it doesn't fit me anymore because it's defined as lack of romantic attraction. I'll explain below.
So I've never been in any relationship and I never experienced strong romantic feeling for real people. The best I can remember is some kind of crushes I had in childhood but it's hard to say at this point if they were even romantic or not. My memory of those years is hazy now to be honest. I grew up socially awkward and anxious so I related to fiction more than my peers. In teenage years I started becoming more interested in fictional characters than in any real people and it stayed that way. For years I first I used to ship them together without wanting to be involved myself. It gave me some sort of.. outlet for emotions I guess? But I wasn't even sure what romantic feelings were like, I felt like it was more of an exaggeration and I couldn't relate to romance songs and stuff like that because I haven't experienced it. I liked living vicariously through those characters though even if I didn't understand what it was. So I could still keep calling myself aromantic if this would stay this way but...
A few years ago I developed real serious feelings for one character from an interactive media. I felt infatuated the way people describe it for the first time in my life. Butterflies in my stomach, feeling happy/gushy as if I'm on drug, thinking about him 24/7 after waking up and going to sleep, thinking of us together and wanting to do all affectionate stuff and to be in monogamous relationship. It was easy to see it as relationship because of interactive media aspect. The strong infatuation faded after a year or so but some feelings still remain. Just more comforting now.. I cuddle with my body pillow and plushie and think of us being affectionate, it makes me feel safe and loved.
So I have experienced romantic feelings now. I can't say anymore that I haven't. The only issue is.. it's not for a real person. But I think that aromantic isn't a correct label for me anymore because of this. I'm not sure if this will ever happen again, it took years for me to develop anything serious even for a fictional character. It might have been once in a lifetime kind of thing, or maybe not. But regardless, I can experience romantic attraction to some extent?
I also sometimes have dreams with a limerence type of feeling for a dream character but it's gone after I wake up so I don't know if it counts. I don't think I could feel those feelings for real people to be honest... They just don't produce this response in me and real relationships feel more transactional than anything.
So I guess my question is: Is being greyromantic counts for fictional characters too or only for real people? Someone said that I could be just an allo because I experienced a romantic feeling but let's be real.. my experience is not very typical I would say. Most people would not understand me being exclusively in love with a character although having crushes on them is becoming more common.