Hi ladies!! Your show has been my cooking companion for a while now and I’ve listened all the way back to episode 34. I really do enjoy your show, keep up the good work!
Some backstory - I (26F) and my husband (34M) have a 16 month old son who is not an easy kid. I put him to bed 99.9% of the time and most times it takes up to an hour or more to get him to sleep. Trust me, I have tried everything but that’s a story for another day.
A lot of the time, I end up sleeping off as I’m petting him and because of how tiring my days can be, I sometimes just call it a night from there. In the past, my husband has gotten upset because I would sleep off even when I say I’ll be back, so I started saying “I may or may not be back” but he still got upset and I asked him to just come wake me if he really wants me to come back.
This time, we had slept at 3am the night before, I had done some cleaning earlier in the evening because I knew we would be out all day for his birthday and then I always wake early, so I was up at around 7am to wrap up the cleaning and get our son ready for the day. My husband woke sometime after 8am to do his part of the cleaning and we were out all day until 5pm.
We went to a buffet, so I had overeaten and my tummy was aching all the way back and all evening, he knew this. He tried to initiate sex when we got back but I couldn’t because I wasn’t feeling good. I did my usual night routine and we got our son ready for bed. I slept off while getting him to sleep and woke up to my husband coming into the room at past midnight and I already knew he was upset.
I remember he came to wake me earlier but I don’t remember what was said, so I just asked him directly if he was upset, he didn’t answer and that usually means he is. I have already apologized and explained that I was just tired and not feeling too good.
I do feel bad I left him to end his birthday alone but I also feel like I really tried my best to make the day go great for him, which it did until this happened. I took him out, got him nice gifts, he also got other gifts, I mean it was a great day for him.
I just need to understand if I am in the wrong and why because this happens quite often. I feel he should understand me and not be so upset, especially because I am 99% sure he’s mostly upset because he wanted to have sex but that shouldn’t be something that gets him this upset, I don’t think it’s fair to me at all.
Yes, his love language is physical touch but I have explained that he really can’t expect that every single time or every time he wants. Especially since his mum who is here to help out with our son stays in the living room until almost midnight most nights and we have to wait for her to leave before we can do anything, since our son sleeps in our bed.
I just don’t feel like I’m getting enough consideration but I also want to be sure I’m not neglecting my husband or making him feel so, I mean I really do try my best.