(This vent is brought to you by the sadness and anger of having my existence and experiences invalidated over and over and over again without being able to talk about it congratulations world i can’t hold it in anymore also no ai was used i just suck at grammar)
I have low empathy(specifically low affective empathy). Yes i said it i said it because its the damn truth and there’s nothing wrong with that! Why is my existence such a horrible thing for everyone to invalidate it everywhere i turn looking for community and potential ideas for possible strategies to deal with a world not made for my brain?! Everywhere from YouTube to Reddit people act like everyone is god damn hyper empathetic!!! IM NOT I JUST WANT TO EXIST PLEASE ITS GENUINELY HURTING ME AT THIS POINT WHY DO PEOPLE HATE MY EXISTENCE?!?!?!??!!!!
No im not talking out of my ass here i genuinely cannot “put myself in other people’s shoes” i can’t easily feel sad when i see people sad unless im emotionally attached in some way or its a genuinely horrific situation *cue people’s frightened gasps and erroneous anger* and you fucking know what? it doesn’t make me any less of a person morally or ethically! Im not a sociopath ether and if your empathy stops at people who don’t experience empathy the exact way you do (or at all people without any empathy are still people) then you’re not as empathetic as you think Wow shocker i know!
And lets get into “empathy” people need to stop saying empathy when they mean sympathy or compassion because they aren’t three in the same for fuck sake people usually also use empathy to mean affective empathy and not cognitive empathy (cognitive empathy is essentially emotional intelligence like seeing someone crying and knowing there probably sad) to make it clearer sympathy is the want to help someone feel better and compassion is taking action to help someone feel better. YOU DONT NEED EMPATHY TO BE A COMPASSIONATE PERSON OR A SYMPATHETIC PERSON oh yeah and sympathy and compassion levels can also vary person to person and thats not inherently evil either :)
i am a sympathetic compassionate person just because i don’t feel bad doesn’t mean i don’t want to or try to help others why can’t anyone accept that reality please i just want to not feel like i don’t belong
Also for anyone who says “b b but its a stereotype” listen up and sit down cause i got news for you! I have seen and heard hyper empathy be used as a stereotype multiple times WE ARE BOTH STEREOTYPES!!!!! IM A STEREOTYPE YOUR A STEREOTYPE EVERYONE IS A GODDAMN STEREOTYPE SO CAN PEOPLE JUST STOP I GET YOU ARE ANGRY ABOUT A STEREOTYPE WHO ISNT BUT IN TRYING TO SPREAD POSITIVE CHANGE ITS GOTTEN TO THE POINT OF OVER CORRECTION BY SAYING ALL AUTISTIC PEOPLE ARE HYPER EMPATHETIC YOUR PUSHING A STEREOTYPE AND A LIE NOT EVERY ONE FEELS EVERYTHING PLEASE!!! STOP!!!! DENYING!!!! ME!!!!!! EXISTENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please
Its literally called autism SPECTRUM it’s called a SPECTRUM nobody presents the fucking same so it doesn’t even make sense why anyone is making definitive statements even less so WHEN YOU CANNOT SEE INSIDE MY BRAIN OR EXPERIENCE HOW MY BRAIN FUNCTIONS WHY CANT WE ALL JUST SHARE THE SPECTRUM THERES TWO ENDS FOR A DAMN REASON WE CAN SHARE IT WHY CANT ANYONE AUTISTIC ALISTIC NEUROTYPICAL OR OTHERWISE JUST ACCEPT THAT WE ARE NOT *ALL* ONE WAY OR THE OTHER WE ARE A MULTITUDE OF WAYS
I genuinely don’t give a fuck about not having high empathy and even see it as useful sometimes its just another part of me like my special interests or stims or sensory triggers its just another part of my brain another part that i’ve figured out how to work around
I don’t go around televising that i don’t feel bad because i know that empathy even faked empathy can help. I don’t berate people for crying i change my voice tone and facial expressions as best i can while i do my best to help with basically no idea what the fuck im supposed to do, say, look or sound like. i try my best to fake having something i just don’t have because its the right thing to do and people get more comfort from it. Compassion without empathy is still compassion its still the active choice to help someone
Oddly enough my experience with low (affective) empathy can help me understand people (usually fictional characters) better because i know how it feels to not know why someone’s feeling a certain emotion and how it feels to not know what to do then feel bad that i didn’t know afterwards
I feel like Simon stuck in the iron lung when he said that “i just want to live” quote except obviously not in the same context as he was. I just want to exist without constantly being told what im feeling and experiencing is wrong like my brain is some sort of crime or a interactive mix and match game
It is so so tiring im siriusly not trying to be rude or belittling or invalidating or a asshole i just couldn’t not say something anymore i know i shouldn’t get upset to the point of tears but i am why can’t we all just coexist why does everything have to be black and white one or the other all or nothing when that just isn’t true why am i considered less valid im feeling more and more like i don’t even belong in my own community the place i go because people understand
I know some people will see the first paragraph and i’ll get downvoted to hell and farther without even the littlest consideration or attempt to understand (i get it its ok) but i just had to get this out because i don’t want to hold it in anymore and if another low empathy person reads this and feels a smidge better then its worth it
Thats it vent over have a great day/night/whatever time of day