u/Fancy-Gold6969

I’m 24 and I’ve spent way too much time watching my life from the sidelines. I’m posting this because I’ve reached a point where I’m no longer just sad about my situation. I’m actually motivated to change it, but I’ve hit a massive roadblock and really need some fresh perspectives.

I struggle with Level 2/3 ASD and pretty crippling social anxiety. For a long time, it felt like I was missing the social software everyone else was born with. I missed out on basically everything growing up. No parties, no real social events, and zero dating as a teen or child. I feel like I’m mourning a life I haven't even gotten to start yet.

I’m awkward, I overthink every single text, and if I get left on read, my brain spirals into a fight or flight loop for hours. I used to have a professional helping me work through this, but I can no longer afford psychology sessions, so I’m trying to figure out how to build my own toolkit.

I’m tired of feeling like I’m running out of time. I see people my age traveling and connecting, and instead of just feeling behind, I feel a huge drive to catch up. The problem is the how. When your brain is foggy from anxiety and you’re terrified of rejection, the first step feels like a mountain.

I’m looking for practical advice from anyone who has managed to build a social life despite having autism or social anxiety. Even if you weren't in a "deep hole" like I feel I am, I would love to hear how you dealt with the awkwardness and the fear.

1. How do you practice social skills when your baseline is constant panic?

2. How do you stop the rumination when a social interaction doesn't go perfectly?

3. What were the small habits that actually helped you move the needle?

I’m genuinely open to any advice or perspectives at this point. I will take any advice I can get. I’m not looking for a miracle, just a starting line. If you’ve survived this or have any insight at all, please leave a comment. I’m reading everything and I’m ready to put in the work.

I’m 24 years old and I’m reaching a point where I honestly feel like I’m running out of time to live a normal life. My social anxiety has become so crippling that I’m basically terrified to talk to anyone. When I do try to put myself out there, I never know what to say. I’m incredibly awkward, I have no idea how to be funny or flirt, and I can tell that I’m trying too hard, which just makes everything worse.

The overthinking is constant. If I’m talking to someone and they ghost me or even just leave me on read, it spirals into a full-blown panic attack. My brain just goes into a loop of what I did wrong and why I’m not good enough, and I end up in this state of fight or flight that lasts for hours.

I used to have a psychologist in Australia who was helping me work through these hurdles, but my disability funding was recently cut and I ran out of subsidized sessions. Now that I’m on my own, everything has just unraveled. I’m stuck at home where my family tells me that no one is coming to save me and that I need to just solve the panic and the awkwardness myself. But I don't know how to fix a brain that feels like it’s constantly foggy and broken.

I look at other people my age traveling, dating, and having close groups of mates, and I feel like I’m mourning a life I haven't even gotten to start yet. I feel so far behind that it seems impossible to ever catch up. I’m terrified that I’m just going to spend the rest of my life isolated because I don't have the social "software" everyone else seems to be born with.

Has anyone else been this shy and this far behind at 24 and actually managed to change? How do you even start to learn social skills when you’re this terrified of rejection? I really just need to know if there is any hope of building a social life that is fulfilling from here.