u/FanMirrorDesk

Noah Kahans new song ‘Dashboard’ really hits.

Before that ‘Say Something Kind to Me Again’ by Sydney Ross Mitchell was it.

It’s a niche genre.

Some more if you need the pain:

- Medicine by Daughter - very relevant to mental illness!
- Letting Go by Angie McMahon
- To build a home (“I built a home for you, for me, until it disappeared” oof)
- Dancing with your Ghost (it’s about grief of course).
- When I Close my eyes by Tom Odell (this one is realllly sad)

And when I’m mad - Smallest Man who Ever lived by Tay Tay

I posted about 8 months ago here: https://www.reddit.com/r/family\_of\_bipolar/s/M8W47qsgGY

I like it when people update so I thought I’d share where I’m at. My kids are now 2 and 4. My ex was seeing them fairly regularly supervised although sometimes he would take them to the park if he had capacity.

About 6 weeks ago he started acting strangely, missing a lot of time with the kids and telling obvious lies and then his housemates told me he had moved out with no notice to live with a “mate”. He refuses to tell me where he lives or who he lives with.

We are at a stalemate: he isn’t allowed to see the kids unless he gives his address and a safety plan. He refuses because I “don’t need to know.” I refuse to arrange time between them because this is very weird. He won’t accept a supervision centre.

I’m really sad that he is choosing whatever is so good about his secret life (very likely a woman) over our kids. But part of me is relieved that maybe I can just move on from the constant supervised time at my house. It’s been almost 18 months and he never regained capacity to have them on his own or have a space they could visit.

I worry - This is probably mania that will result in a crash. And there is no one left to pick up the pieces. But my focus is the kids. This disease sucks.