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u/Fakeaccbrat

▲ 17 r/EstrangedAdultKids

Do you get random memories and get super emotional (angry or sad)?

Hi. Basically the title.

I am 34 years old woman, have been nc with my mother for 4 years. Before that there were periods of nc but each time she managed to drag me back.

This time it is over. About a year ago I got news she got cancer, and wants to talk to me or something. I got a lot of pressure, her friends called me, she called me, called my dad, callled his work under another names etc etc.

I did not meet or call her.

But I do ocasionally have dreams of her and get those totally random memories bounce back. I usually get super emotional, firstly angry as hell, then sad.

I have been to therapy for few years, done most that I could. And still I can not forgive her. I DO understand she also had a hard life, she also was abused by her parents in other ways, than she abused me. I get that. But I can not forgive her, and I get super angry when I remember things she did.

Part of my memories that bounce back are those, who have been blocked for a long time.

Does it get better? How do I cope with this?

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u/Fakeaccbrat — 5 days ago
▲ 167 r/Nikon

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EDIT: THANK YOU GUYS FOR ALL YOUR INPUT. I never expected so many advices and ideas, I am really thankfull for all of you with all my heart. You helped me tremendously. Wish the best shots for all of you! ❤️

Hello. I really need to vent or to get my ass kicked, or whatever, because I am losing my mind.

I have Nikon D610 body and few lenses, but mostly used is Nikkor 85 mm. (Also have 50 mm and Sigma 17-55mm).

I mostly do portraits, and the reason I am about to give up - I can't get crisp pictures. Especially if I take picture of a whole person from further away. I am for the eyes in viewfinder, lock my focus, take a picture, bam - looks ok from far away and when zoomed in it is obvious, that NOTHING IS IN DAMN FOCUS. I took my camera to calibrate, clean etc - everything is fine.

I took couple of pictures of a whole standing person outside in bright day. F5, 1/1250, ISO 400. Iso is automatic on my camera (I would have chosen iso 100 in that case, but taking pics in dynamic outside world is kind of challenging, so I am trying to help myself at least with automatic ISO).

Another similar picture with same issues was taken with f6.3, 1/1250, iso360. Same blurred, nothing seems to be in focus, looks okey from distance, but zoomed in is horrific.

What am I doing wrong? Or is it the fact that I just don't know photography at all

u/Fakeaccbrat — 8 days ago
▲ 9 r/photography

I can't get my photos crisp, I am about to give up

Hello. I really need to vent or to get my ass kicked, or whatever, because I am losing my mind.

I have Nikon D610 body and few lenses, but mostly used is Nikkor 85 mm. (Also have 50 mm and Sigma 17-55mm).

I mostly do portraits, and the reason I am about to give up - I can't get crisp pictures. Especially if I take picture of a whole person from further away. I am for the eyes in viewfinder, lock my focus, take a picture, bam - looks ok from far away and when zoomed in it is obvious, that NOTHING IS IN DAMN FOCUS. I took my camera to calibrate, clean etc - everything is fine.

I took couple of pictures of a whole standing person outside in bright day. F5, 1/1250, ISO 400. Iso is automatic on my camera (I would have chosen iso 100 in that case, but taking pics in dynamic outside world is kind of challenging, so I am trying to help myself at least with automatic ISO).

Another similar picture with same issues was taken with f6.3, 1/1250, iso360. Same blurred, nothing seems to be in focus, looks okey from distance, but zoomed in is horrific.

What am I doing wrong? Or is it the fact that I just don't know photography at all

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u/Fakeaccbrat — 8 days ago