Last year my sister and I took DNA tests and discovered we’re actually half sisters. My mom knows we know, but refuses to talk about it and expects us to treat it like a secret.
My sister (37F) and I (30F) have been living together for a few years. My sisters have always been my best friends, and the sister I live with and I are especially close.
For a long time she suspected our dad might not actually be her biological father because she looks nothing like him. So we decided to take DNA tests.
In July 2024, we found out we are actually half sisters.
At the time we didn’t tell our mom because she was going through cancer treatment and we didn’t want to add more stress. Thankfully she is cancer free now.
My mom is very old school Mexican and has never been good at talking about difficult things. When emotional topics come up she tends to cry, shut down, or avoid them completely. My sister has gone to therapy and has really worked on breaking some of those generational patterns.
My sister told my mom she knew in August 2025. That conversation happened privately between them. During that conversation my mom said my sister’s biological father passed away when she was about one year old. She also said she would try to draw a picture of him or find a photo.
But she hasn’t followed through.
They’ve only talked about it maybe three times since then.
My mom knows that I know, but she refuses to acknowledge it with me at all. She also doesn’t want to tell her husband or anyone else in the family, which basically means we all have to treat this like a secret.
My sister has handled this incredibly well and still talks to my mom regularly, but their conversations are very surface level like “how’s the weather” or “are you working today.”
Meanwhile I’ve pulled back a bit. I don’t really call my mom anymore. She calls every couple weeks, talks about her day, doesn’t really ask about me, and then says goodnight.
Part of me understands there may have been complicated circumstances back then. But that was 37 years ago. What bothers me is how she’s handling it now.
I feel like my sister deserves more openness about where she came from. It may have started as my mom’s secret, but it’s my sister’s life.
The problem is if I bring it up directly my mom will probably cry, shut down, or say I’m hurting her feelings.
How does someone even approach this? We don’t wanna loose what little relationship we have with her.