WIBTA Should I stay or should I go
I was asked to be a bridesmaid with my other 4 friends for my friend Sarah (F24) almost a year ago now. If I had known that her wedding would cost me over £1000 I would of said no, I don’t make much money so anything over £500 makes me panic. Traditionally where I’m from the bride pays for something for her bridesmaids, anything from the accommodation to the dress, Sarah however has not done this and has said these things are optional. But with the peer pressure and gas lighting makes it not as optional more like demanded. I had tried to back out but the bride guilt tripped be and said I had 2 years to save for her wedding; she never gave us a budget and only asked us a year ago.
Recently we have been planning the hens night, all together there is 5 of us and 2 of them is the maid of honour and man of honour (this boy reminds me of Regina from mean girls), this is a nightmare with in its self, we had a meeting to decide what to do and the budget as the bride may only pay for the accommodation. All the girls where there but the man of honour decided not to show. We all agreed on a small budget between £100 and £250, this would cover the stay and an activity, I was happy with spending a small amount and for the bride to pay for her accommodation. Then a week later the group chat for the hens goes nuts with one bridesmaid and the man of honour changing the plans and the budget being shoved out the window. I raised concerns about budget as one of the other bridesmaids doesn’t have a lot of money either. But I was ignored. These two didn’t even wait of the maid of honour and bridesmaid to yes ok before the booked the places and demanded money.
I will admit by this point I was stressing; they had very sneakily not put a full total budget down and just separate amounts of each activity and stay. I put it all together and the total came out at a minimum of £600. I was horrified to say the least, I was already spending a month’s pay on this wedding and now I’m expected to fork out more. I put the total in the group chat to see if anyone else was ok with this and it exploded. the man of honour and other bridesmaid felt that we should have said something sooner (we did) and called me a dick for bringing it up now (was it probably a dick move yes). The maid of honour eventually stepped in to try and claim us down. But the damage is done, the person I called a friend called me horrid things and made me feel terrible for not having much money and defending the man of honour who is acting like a saint.
So now I gone from not want to back out of the wedding just cause of money and FOMO to now wishing I had listened to myself and left. So would I be the asshole if I just backed out with like 5 months to go till the wedding