My boyfriend and I are atheists, we were raised Christian but we don’t believe in any kind of god. We’re in our mid 30s.
He practices meditation and sometimes reads books on different philosophies, buddhism, meditation etc. He has issues because he lets himself be affected by small things, has very high expectations on himself and others and he often ends up disappointed/frustrated/emotional about things that shouldn’t matter.
He recently discovered an author that tells you to detach yourself from your thoughts, that you are not yours thoughts, that you should actually practice detachment from other people too so that, even if you love other people, your happiness should not depend on them.
Personally, I think everything is a word salad and I don’t like self help books in general. We had a discussion about this author today, at a cafe, for 2h. I was just expressing how I choose to live my life, by getting up and doing things, and god (sic) knows I’ve been through some bad experiences, and I think it’s ok to be angry and upset at stuff. My boyfriend, however, says that this author says that there is no morality, that you should be as detached and possible, and that you are not the mind and you should not identify with your ego.
Whatever, we disagree, whatever floats his boat. But I get really uncomfortable when he starts saying that “500 years ago if you told people there was no god you’d be considered crazy, it’s the same now when it comes to the truth.” I get physically repulsed at this conspiracy-like speech/preaching and he notices it and he tells me it’s normal to be shocked when I realize it.
I just went to the bathroom and cried. Ffs I just want a normal relationship where I’m loved (and he loves me and spoils me a lot and I spoil him a lot too and we’re like two kids in love together) and it scares me that out of nowhere after a few days of reading this dude’s books he becomes like this. He claims he just shares this with me because maybe it helps me too, because he cares about me etc.
Sorry for the messy post, I wanna have a discussion with him and I don’t know how to enunciate what I feel, because I have a feeling it’s gonna be twisted into “that’s not what the author claims/I just wanna help you/everyone needs help.”