u/Fair_Ad_9204

Going through the most traumatic time of my life. I’ve known this girl since we were 9 years old. Over 16 years of my life we have been bestfriends and dated for over 5+ years. She broke up with me since she had doubts about our future and said she should know for sure if I was the one this far in. I was by no means perfect in the relationship but we had a love I thought that was so strong. We never had any toxic fights. Never cheated, never did anything like that. Just the last year I was complacent and I didn’t realize how much that affected us. Somehow she just fell out of love the last year and I didn’t realize until it was too late. It confuses me because we had the best time together even leading up to the breakup. She was my best friend, my soul mate. I love that girl so much, I feel completely lost. Like I’m dying inside. Now she is doing good on her own and wants to continue being by herself. I put my heart on the line and changed my life physically and tried to mentally but the past few weeks the heartbreak has crawled back and hurt like I’ve never felt. We have been in small contact here and there but recently she mentioned that she thinks it’s best if we are not each others go to people anymore because she wants what’s best for her is distance. It’s been 5 months, how much more distance can a person need to reflect. I’ve learned so much the past 5 months about my relationship and things I will change or change for any future relationship. I just don’t get how someone can stop loving someone like that when I am still so head over heels for her. I feel like I will never love again. She was my dream girl, I liked her all of highschool and finally started to date when she was in college. I fucked up, how did I lose the one thing in the world that was amazing. Is there anyone that’s been in this same position and got back with their ex after a long period of time. I know I shouldn’t be hoping for that but honestly that’s the only thing keeping me pushing everyday.