My dad has autism so has can't really relate to people at all. I think he genuinely cares but he can't relate to anybody.
My mum is a covert narcicisst and did some awful things to he as a child. She moved her boyfriend into the family home (dad still her husband and living there) and took over my bedroom when I was 17 so I had to find other places to stay. She denies this and says it was a 'holiday' for me. Also made me go to court to try and testify that my dad was hitting me so she could get the house. I stood up in court crying and said I couldn't do it. She denies that this court case ever happened.
She is now married to the boyfriend who is a complete controlling overt narcissist. But they feed each other. She needs constant worship and care and is obsessed with her health issues and he can be the grandiose one who protects her.
I am usually the one he is angry about - he's constantly mumbling under his breath about me, my kids, my husband etc. She doesn't care, denies he does this. She's never had much interest in her grandkids unless they go running up to see her. If she does see us she only talks about her own problems- usually health related- and doesn't even ask about us even though my kids have both had recent problems.
I was really upset after a recent phone call because again she was angry at something I had apparently done - her husband was in the background calling me all the names under the sun. One of my friends said something that made me think - he said you shouldn't have to fight for anyone's love, especially your mother's, - and i realised that was what I was doing and I was done. I've gone NC and even though it broke my heart, in a kind of a way it feels like a relief.
I have had serious mental health problems all my life (BPD and CPTSD) and had a chaotic early adulthood, put myself in dangerous situations and abusive relationships. ButI have been relatively stable for quite a while now, after lots of hard work, medication, my wonderful husband, understanding friends, and having my beautiful children but after this I could feel myself spiral again. But talking it out, and doing research etc - seeing posts on here etc I can finally see that it is not my fault. I am not broken as I have always thought. I feel very sad that it has come to this but I think I will be ok.
I can relate to so many posts on here. Thank you so much everybody and persevere. We didn't deserve to be treated this way, it's not fair, but it was not your fault!