u/Fair-Pomegranate1583

I look malformed

Growing up, I was very insecure about my looks. My ears specifically. I had asymmetrical ears, with one of them protruding a little more than the other one. People teased me a lot for my ears, even though they all told me I look good. My whole family told me that I'm very good-looking and all of those things. When I was in grade 6, I returned to my home country and enrolled in a mixed school, and I was actually very popular with girls. I didn’t think of it at first, but a lot of them wanted to talk to me. They used to send love letters at the time, but I used to say no because I was very insecure and my mom told me not to talk to girls.

In high school, I went to an all-boys school and didn’t attend much and literally didn’t go out of the house. I thought that everyone was looking at my ears and noticed them, so I wasted 3 years of my life. In uni, it was different. I had a chance with a decent amount of girls and even sat with more than one, but I get very anxious. The uni I'm in has some of the boys who used to tease me when I was younger. So I thought in uni people noticed my ears and everything, plus I feel very depressed and anxious all the time.

The point of my post is that I did otoplasty and no one noticed any difference but the scar on my ear. I asked the guys who knew me when I was younger, and they said they only teased me because they heard others doing it. 6 months later, the ears returned back to their original shape, and literally no one noticed. So I did it and no one noticed for 6 months. It failed, and still no one noticed.

I myself still hate my looks and still feel very anxious and insecure, but I wanted to post this so that if anyone reads it, he'll know that it's only in his head and no one notices the small things.

I wrote it but made chat gpt fix the punctuation so pls forgive me .

There’s a girl I met on a game. After a while of talking, I found out she’s 16, and I’m 19. Even if the age difference isn’t big, she’s still a minor. We did a face reveal. I’m a very lonely person, so I open up to people when I can. I talked to her about me being diagnosed with depression, how insecure I am, and a lot of random things, but I’m always respectful and never slip out. I didn’t even curse. One time when she was asking me why I don’t try having a girlfriend, I jokingly said, “Haha, I’ll just wait till you’re 18,” and kept really apologizing because I felt very disgusting. I’m also anxious 24/7. After that, I tried keeping my distance and keeping it game-related. It’s been about a month, and I feel very regretful and disgusted with myself. I’m not attracted to her, nor do I have any thoughts of her outside the game, and I don’t text first. I want to clarify that I’d rather chop my head off than ever think of a minor in a bad way. I’m a really disgusting person, and I feel very bad