AITAH for being short with my husband?
I (33F) am currently pretty pissed at my husband (35M), and my mom thinks I should let it go.
We've been together for fifteen years, married for five. He's amazing 95% of the time : great husband, great father to our two-year-old, but the past few days have been hard. I'm also very pregnant, so I'm aware my hormones are in full swing.
He left last Friday for a week-long holiday with his best friend. This is a yearly thing we do, we each take a week away, no issue there, I was genuinely happy for him. But he left the house a mess. No cleaning, no laundry, nothing. Even left me with some oddities, our baby's shoes in the medicine cabinet and whatnot.. Last year when I left, I handed him a spotless house with a week's worth of food prepped and all laundry put away. I let it go.
Now for the real reason I'm pissed: Yesterday was Mother's Day.
When we were planning the trip dates (he was tied to his best mate schedule), I flagged that this week included Mother's Day and we'd be apart. He said "don't worry, it probably won't land that week." It did. I said nothing. All week I kept reminding him (framed as "don't forget your mom" because honestly, he's forgetfull). He also had our baby's daycare gift handed to him on Wednesday as a reminder.
Sunday morning, normal texts back and forth. By noon, brunch with my mom and the baby, still no "Happy Mother's Day." I sent a last-ditch brunch photo captioned "Happy Mother's Day!" His response: "OH, did BabyName tell you?", our kid barely talks, so no. Later, I texted him that I would have appreciated him saying it himself. He panicked, called me (I was putting the baby down), then left a voice message saying he "didn't forget, he was going to call later in the day." Later he video-called to see our baby. Before hanging up he asked if I was upset, I said I wasn't exactly thrilled. He said "okay." We hung up.
That evening he texted like nothing happened. I sent him a long message: I'd hinted all week, the daycare gift was a reminder, I sent the brunch photo as a final hint, I had to spell it out twice, and still his response was that he "would have called later." The checkout lady at the supermarket wished me a Happy Mother's Day before he did. I wasn't even asking for flowers or a gift. Just a message, first thing in the morning. (I would have appreciated flowers tho)
He apologized but said "these occasions mean different things to different people." I pushed back : he had five days to order something, or just call before leaving the hotel. He restated that we see it differently. We got on a call, I cried, no resolution.
That night I cried in front of my mom and the baby (yeah that was bad, couldn't help myself). She told me it was the hormones and to remember what he's like every other day, that it wasn't a good move to have that hostility with him when he's away and that might ruin his holiday. Here's what I can't reconcile though: he's wished me Happy Mother's Day the past two years. He does it for his own mom. I've never missed a Father's Day or any other 'special' day. Something shifted and I don't know what. The only thing I can think of is that his best friend lost his mom a few years ago, and maybe the day felt heavy, but even then, one text wasn't too much to ask.
This morning he asked how I was doing and I was short with him. I'm still sending him all his usual updates about our baby, but I'm not pretending everything's fine. He's sending me texts as if nothing happened.
I know I'm hormonal AH. But I still think I'm justified, AITAH for not being warm with him right now?
EDIT: The house wasn't trashed when he left. I'd kept up with my share of the maintenance all week, so while it wasn't spotless, it wasn't in a state of disarray either (I wouldn't let my child live in a dirty house)