u/FaeMeHarder

For some context, my boyfriend is like my favorite person on the planet. Not to sound dramatic (and I know it does) but he is my exact dream man in every sense of the word, apart from sex. I’m hyper sexual and love the connection and pleasure that comes with sex and I’ve realized lately that it’s something I don’t feel I can live without.

We have openly talked about it many times in our relationship, including earlier on when I noticed things weren’t really progressing. We did have one sexual experience in the first month of us dating where we both gave each other oral, and since then he hasn’t felt comfortable to even make out with me. He said it feels like there’s a block in his mind about sex, that he doesn’t really think of it ever or desire it. He said he doesn’t even really feel horny or arousal often. He does get a boner sometimes when we kiss but that will usually end things there. He said that this is something he wants to work on and recommended we start therapy, which we’ve been doing for a couple months now. There has been no progress at all, and when we tried to have more “intimate” kissing, he got super anxious and we had to stop. He told me later that he didn’t really enjoy it.

The thing that is so upsetting to me is that we genuinely get along so well, we always have fun together, he is SO emotional and empathetic and caring and loving, he shows he loves me every single day. and he is physical with me, like always wanting to cuddle me, or have his hand on me, or gives me kisses a lot (pecks), he calls me beautiful and he looks at me with love, so it’s just so confusing to my brain.

Do you think that this is something we can work on and change? Or is it just a case of incompatibility? I love him so much i’m willing to be patient, I just have started feeling so sexually frustrated and like shit about myself lately.

Edit: I feel like I want to stress that we love each other a lot, and I try my absolute best to be extremely supportive for him because I genuinely feel for him. I tell him like every time we talk about this, that there is nothing wrong with him and he’s not wrong for not wanting sex and that a lot of people feel the way he does.