Im changing clothes in a portapotty.
As stated, Im using baby wipes to wipe myself down. I was just kicked out of my girlfriends house on Monday. It was a very quick relationship. Im sure ill get comments about how quick. And they are justified. But please understand, as a 56 year old guy that had to move in with his mother, i thought i finally found the one. We met on reddit and quickly realized how much we had in common. She is 36 but she loved older guys. Were both geeks. Played dungeons and dragons. Watched and read sci-fi and fantasy. Listened to same rock music. I could go on. The attraction was there to. So when we met, it was sparks instantly. She also was looking for a roommate to help with bills. I definitely jumped on it. I immediately gave her money to help her out. I ended up staying a few days, and to say that sex was great was an understatement. We just couldn't stop. By the following weekend, I had moved a few things in, began telling mom sons,and the family was happy that im so happy. As I was waiting for another client for home health care, I was also a doordasher. So we would dash, make some bucks, go home. I got to meet her son that weekend. Yes, to fast I know. But her was the cutest boy ever. He has a touch of autism so you had to be patient. But he took to me quickly.
Then the trouble began to creap in. I should point out the first day we met she was adamant she didn't want a relationship, just someone to play with. By wedsday, she asked if I would commit to her. As I was married forv17 years I went into husband mode when I got there. I took the trash out, helped with dishes, installed an ac. She was shocked. Shes had plenty of relationships with men who didnt help at all. So I guess i impressed her.
So she gets her son, and when she returns, she has a completely different person. Shes cold, distant. I didnt know a to deal with it. Then she said she was having a panic attack about us. She stated she had this, but first time seeing it. But shes saying things like she loved being single and was worried she couldn't go to the club. Now when I say the club, shes into the lifestyle. So yes, shes worried how her social group wont accept me being with her. This, without even meeting. So she calms down. So we get past that. We make it through the second into the third week. We sit down one time and go through a list of relationship does and don'ts. She really seemed to want this as bad as me. We both been through several relationships the end badly so we vowed that unless someone cheated. We both agreed. We grew closer together, felt like an old couple. I dont remember being so happy. So this is where I slipped up. Without detail, I lied to her. It was about a promise. But it wasnt anything life changing. I definitely feel like we could have easily worked past this. I consider myself a nice guy, smo I guess this made things harder.
MShe immediately told me to get n a decision to be made in the heat of an argument. She instead over and over. I should point out at this point, my mother made it clear there was no moving back. Also, my cars battery is dead. She told me to sit in my car. She eventually calmed down, but i could tell this was not going to go well. The next day her and friend wanted me to take them and pick them up at a burlesque show downtown. Mind you this is a friend from the club. So shes getting ready, and asked if we could have sex. We do, but it was off. Was the last time we did. So I drop them off, do some door dashing, then pick her up. When she gets in the van, doest look at me, and has her phone out. This was a first. I got more conversation from her friend. So we drop her friend off. We do talk about the show, but there is definitely a coldness her. We get home sit in the bed, talk. But it was dry and distant. I asked if I could sleep in the bed. Absolutely no. I get up and go to living room. She keeps texting how I broke her trust and I only get one chance. Im asking how do I only get one chance? You mean one mistake at any time cant be fixed. How is a relationship supposed to thrive if thats over my head? She threatens to bring guys over and even sends a pic on reddit about wanting guys over for a threesome. She says she wishes she stayed single. All I heard for three weeks is she never had a guy be so good to her. Now its one and done?? I should also point out the her friend kept asking about how important this friday at the club was supposed to be Special. We talked about me and her eventually including it in our lives, but i needed time. I also was on Ozempic to lose weight, which she purchased. She was ali concerned how I looked because I had bad teeth, because i never went to the dentist. I raised 4 boys and money was tight. So we talked about getting dentures. So the picture got pretty clear. She wasnt ready to miss out on the club. Her network of friends were far more important than trying to work on us. And the sex was definitely going to be missed. So I left the next morning. I havnt told my sons or my mother. Im so embarrassed I let this happen. In my mind I domt have many more chance to be happy in a relationship. Besides, the alm have families of there own. So im homeless. I have my car. So thats something. But its a 2008. So something will break. To say im depressed is putting it mildly. But not much chance to feel it. Dashing to stay busy and have some income. She definitely wont be talking to me. Who ever i left wasnt the same woman I met. I havnt had a relationship in 6 years and I thought I was beyond lucky to have this chance. Three weeks later, im on the streets, and i dont know whats next. Nights are the hardest. Thats when it hurts. Looking at the darkness through my car windows just brings back alm the pain. I know this life isn't fair. I get that. But when do I get to be on the other side. When do I get to wake up next to the person I love 10 years from now and say how great life is. I just want my chance.