I am having my second in July, we will have a 20/21 month age gap. I really had zero support postpartum with my first and it was extremely challenging for me mentally and emotionally. This time around, I am really planning for support. Please give your best postpartum planning advice or tell me your thoughts on my current plan!
- my mom will be here when baby is born to help with toddler for at least several days (my parents live 1.5 hours away)
- my husband will follow that time period and have two weeks to support after my mom leaves, the first week more at home, the second week he may come and go from work some (we own a business)
- My in-laws live here, but are not much support - if they do offer I would prefer they help at my house, not take the toddler to their house. They don’t really follow my routines and then my toddler wakes a lot more or fights bedtime. I’d prefer support at home rather than also deal with my toddler struggling from lack of routine at their house. Thoughts on this? I highly doubt they will offer much support, but if they do I’d like to push for it at our home.
- we’ve been saving for a house cleaner to come bi-weekly maybe for the first 3 months? It will be too much on my husband with him working and helping entertain our toddler.
- we’ve been saving to have our nanny come (she helps watch our son 1-2 days per week or for a few hours at a time as needed) and help me at the house for a few hours here and there - things like watching the kids so I could take a nap or even get caught up on laundry. Best time of day for support if my husband works 9-5?
- my moms best friend who is like a second mom has offered to fly in to help for a week at any time - I was thinking of saving this for when I’m more like 9-12 weeks in postpartum? But thoughts on when to utilize this week?
- my husband will be on toddler night duty and most likely be sleeping in the guest room. I plan to exclusively breastfeed as I did with my son, so for baby #2 that will basically all be me on nights, I rarely pump
What do you think of this plan? Anywhere I should change or anything I can add? I love being a mom! My first was not a good sleeper and I just had almost no support, I felt so isolated and alone. I want this next experience to be very different.