my ex doesn’t care about me
we dated for almost 5 years, broke up a year ago but we’ve been visiting regularly and going back and forth about getting back together for the past year. we finally decided a couple weeks ago not to get back together and agreed to stay friends, i’ve felt him pulling away since and it hurts. i thought we could still be close. it feels like he’s slowly just losing interest in me. the whole reason we didn’t get back together is because he said honestly that he isn’t emotionally available or ready for a relationship again. he’s just not willing to try. i want him to care, i want him to come after me, i want him to try and beg for me back but he just doesn’t care. it hurts so bad. i lost my best friend. he’s seemed so selfish now too and it feels like im seeing his true colors, he feels like a different person. he cancelled a visit we had planned and said it’s because it doesn’t feel worth it to make the long drive now that we’re broken up (i moved back to home state after breakup and we’re 7 hours drive apart now) and he would lose his weekend. i told him that as badly as i want to keep him in my life i wont tolerate a bad friend and he said he’ll do better. i just hate this, i feel more alone now than ever. i feel like im making it worse by constantly being so available to him. i so desperately just wish he would realize what an idiot he is and regret his mistakes. i feel like he won’t and that is what’s so frustrating. i just want him to care, i want him to be afraid of losing me for good and he’s not.