u/FactWonderful2995

Been really struggling and could use some outside perspective.

Was in a 8 month relationship that felt deeply serious and was very intense (we are both in our 20s): met families, fully integrated lives, planning trips together, daily contact. Right up until the last week she was sending me date ideas and making future plans.

Then she ended it out of nowhere (after some serious family drama that unfolded 2 weeks prior). She told me that "something is missing but I don't know what" that I was perfect, all that jazz of 'its not you its me'. No real explanationor suggestion of trying to work through it together.

Since then there's been a pattern of warmth without follow through. For example, a very affectionate birthday message she didn't follow up on after I replied, occasional story replies that go nowhere. I have now decided to unfollow her and remove her as a follower to set a boundary and try to heal. I have not initiated any contact for like a month, but I did run into her on the street 2 weeks ago (we live relatively close to each other).

Seven weeks out and she's on my mind basically 24/7. I'm functioning (gym, eating, working) but the rumination is relentless. I keep circling the same questions: why did she leave without a real reason, was I not enough, will she regret it. I know logically the relationship had real limitations but emotionally I can't stop missing her.

This has also been tough on my own self-image. I am objectively 'good looking' but still my self worth has taken quite a big hit. I am also somewhat scared that I might be depressed or developing some depression-like symptoms. I am struggling with waking up at 4 or 5 am everyday and not being able to fall back asleep due to my brain starting to spiral again and again.

For those who've been through something similar, how did you actually start getting relief from the constant thoughts? Do you have any practical advice?

Any help, advice, or insight would be super welcome ❤️