u/FaceConstant5047

Update: to clarify, he pulled over on the side of the highway to call her bluff more than anything. It was absolutely wrong and deserves an apology. She was not actually left off on the side of the highway. I said everyone stop, I’m driving, and we got back to our area safely. That’s where she took her uber from. I wasn’t so familiar with the places to stop along the journey and didn’t want to leave her someplace random, I figured I’d head back to us where I knew was safe and where it would cost less to get her home due to distance.

Yes, we should’ve checked traffic sooner to plan ahead. Honestly, I’m usually good about that stuff but took a day to be a little more chill, so some garden planting because that makes me happy, and somewhat lost track of time. As we pulled away and saw how long it would take for the full trip, I said right there that I’m sorry but we cannot get home this late with our baby. That’s when the argument started.

Original post : I just had a great first Mother’s Day all things considered. We went to my parents for a small BBQ. When it was time to go I said we’d drop my sister off about 30 mins out of our way (30 mins there and 30 mins back) because I knew it would be a fight otherwise. When we get going we realize we are in bumper to bumper traffic and if we continue as planned we wouldn’t be home until about 7:30pm. The problem is our baby is on a baby’s schedule naturally. She eats around 6:30pm every night, bath time by 7:30 and sleep shortly after. I did not have food ready to go in the car with us because I wasn’t expecting to need it. I told her I’m sorry I know what I said but this is the reality of traffic now and we have to prioritize our baby’s needs. I offered to contribute towards an uber.

This turned into a big verbal argument when she’s saying all these rude things to me about being so entitled and bad etc. my husband snapped on her for the first time and started yelling loudly back. She keeps saying she wants to get out so I’m his emotional state pulled over on the side of the highway we were on and then said fine get out of you want. This escalated of course. I know he was wrong to snap to that degree. So does he and he feels terrible for how it happened even if she deserved to be put in her place. As soon as the argument started I was trying to get it to stop. Telling him to stop, etc. I knew it could get to this level and I didn’t want it too. When we pulled over I told my husband to get in the back with the baby and I’ll drive.

She called my parents because she got scared which I get to an extent. I understand where he went wrong and it’s inexcusable. But so were all the hurtful things she said just to be hurtful the rest of the drive. Which she has a history of doing and is also why my husband felt compelled to stick up for me. She made a ton of accusations of saying our immediate family has been saying things about he and I behind our backs, contradicting things they were saying to our face. I asked those family members after if what she said was true. This isn’t the first time she’s been upset by something relatively minor to then bring it to this level. They all flat out told me she lied. With evidence and everything. I have no reason to suspect they are the ones lying expect for what my sister said.

For additional context, that morning my husband planned a nice little morning for just our family since it’s my first Mother’s Day. A few mins after I wake up I get we get a text from her saying I have a ride to get to your place within the next hour or so or you have to pick me up from my place. No asking, no please even, just a demand. My husband did not like this. This isn’t so uncommon for her, but it being my first Mother’s Day and all made it more difficult for him to swallow.

I guess this is a long winded way of asking, was I wrong for prioritizing our baby’s needs? I know I could’ve handled it better, checked on traffic earlier, etc. no one else in my life has ever given me grief for prioritizing my baby’s needs. I’ve had to miss weddings and other important things and my friends have always been understanding and supportive. My (younger, almost 29 yo) sister is the only one who doesn’t seem to get it.

I don’t post a lot here but I am so lost and feel compelled to ask Reddit. I recognize I’m lucky to be weighing two good job options in this economy, but for this first time I’m approaching this as the breadwinner in my family that now includes my 10 month old son. So I ask, what would you do?

A. I’ll start by saying I love my job. I’ve done what I do well and it has been acknowledged. I am basically entirely remote and absolutely love that freedom and thrive in this setup. Especially since I had my son 10 months ago. Really good benefits and PTO. There is no one more senior within my department, though my title is Director and that hasn’t changed yet. Not to brag but I’m a real pillar of this lean startup over the last few years, and I’ve had recent conversations with the CEO about my path to become a VP. The downside is it has still yet to be proven out as a successful business. There’s a lot to believe in but the other senior leadership besides the CEO have no clue what they are doing and we are at the point now where it’s having real consequences and can potentially sink us if not corrected. A few of us voiced these concerns recently but the outcome is still TBD. We are well funded but that could change if we don’t perform. This last part for me is my biggest concern.

B. I wasn’t really looking but saw my exact job post for a very prestigious company in my industry. To my surprise I was made an offer, $10k more than I make now but Tuesday-Thursday is in the office (though there seems to be some flexibility for one offs like illness or dr appts). Not sure all of the benefits and PTO just yet because I’m waiting for the full details in writing. But a much more proven out company overall and an opportunity to grow a big part of their current and future business. My biggest concern is that originally I was told I’d report someone in c suite, and then over the course of interviewing I learned they restructured some things and now I’m reporting to a VP. I’ve been a director for many years now and I worry this will add another few years before I can show growth in title. I voiced this and they said there is room to grow and I do see that is something they do but there is no guarantee of what and when anything would be coming to me understandably.

Beyond some of the career pluses and minuses I mentioned, although I LOVE remote work I worry it may hinder my growth in any company not like my current one. At least this new one is only three days in office with flexibility and a doable commute?What if I stay and it goes under and then I am forced to take something 100% in office out of desperation?

There is also that leaving my son to use days and only seeing him 2-3 hours a day on those days truly breaks my heart. I’ve been with him every day since birth, never more than a floor away, and getting to see him on short breaks and during lunch/ what would be commute time. I’m extremely lucky that my husband is on leave for now and we agreed will stay home for the foreseeable future being the amazing dad he is to be around for our kid/future kids and run a small business we have on the side. My parents are around, and while somewhat limited, do whatever they can to help and would be around the days I’m in the office. Again, I recognize how lucky I am and that my husband and I worked our asses off to be where we are now. This is just my first time leveling up in my career as a mom and the primary breadwinner for my family. We both grew up from families who worked hard but struggled financially. That’ll always be with me and I feel a strong pressure from within myself to provide the best life possible. I don’t need to be uber rich, just enough to never have to worry about medical care, food, housing, and maybe even a vacation or two a year and to give back to the people in our lives when we can.

I’m going to speak to my current CEO on Monday and leave it open enough for her to counter offer if they choose. Even for more money and a VP title, is it worth staying and giving up another great opportunity when it is not clear exactly how long this great, cushy job will be around for?

If you were in my shoes? What would you do? Thank you to anyone who actually takes the time to finish my rant, let alone offer input.

Weighing some job options and am curious what people think. Do you think being remote long term will impact one’s ability to advance to senior leadership? Is it a trade off worth making? Are there exceptions?

I don’t post a lot here but I am so lost and feel compelled to ask Reddit. I recognize I’m lucky to be weighing two good job options in this economy, but for this first time I’m approaching this as the breadwinner in my family that now includes my 10 month old son. So I ask, what would you do?

A. I’ll start by saying I love my job. I’ve done what I do well and it has been acknowledged. I am basically entirely remote and absolutely love that freedom and thrive in this setup. Especially since I had my son 10 months ago. Really good benefits and PTO. There is no one more senior within my department, though my title is Director and that hasn’t changed yet. Not to brag but I’m a real pillar of this lean startup over the last few years, and I’ve had recent conversations with the CEO about my path to become a VP. The downside is it has still yet to be proven out as a successful business. There’s a lot to believe in but the other senior leadership besides the CEO have no clue what they are doing and we are at the point now where it’s having real consequences and can potentially sink us if not corrected. A few of us voiced these concerns recently but the outcome is still TBD. We are well funded but that could change if we don’t perform. This last part for me is my biggest concern.

B. I wasn’t really looking but saw my exact job post for a very prestigious company in my industry. To my surprise I was made an offer, $10k more than I make now but Tuesday-Thursday is in the office (though there seems to be some flexibility for one offs like illness or dr appts). Not sure all of the benefits and PTO just yet because I’m waiting for the full details in writing. But a much more proven out company overall and an opportunity to grow a big part of their current and future business. My biggest concern is that originally I was told I’d report someone in c suite, and then over the course of interviewing I learned they restructured some things and now I’m reporting to a VP. I’ve been a director for many years now and I worry this will add another few years before I can show growth in title. I voiced this and they said there is room to grow and I do see that is something they do but there is no guarantee of what and when anything would be coming to me understandably.

Beyond some of the career pluses and minuses I mentioned, although I LOVE remote work I worry it may hinder my growth in any company not like my current one. At least this new one is only three days in office with flexibility and a doable commute?What if I stay and it goes under and then I am forced to take something 100% in office out of desperation?

There is also that leaving my son to use days and only seeing him 2-3 hours a day on those days truly breaks my heart. I’ve been with him every day since birth, never more than a floor away, and getting to see him on short breaks and during lunch/ what would be commute time. I’m extremely lucky that my husband is on leave for now and we agreed will stay home for the foreseeable future being the amazing dad he is to be around for our kid/future kids and run a small business we have on the side. My parents are around, and while somewhat limited, do whatever they can to help and would be around the days I’m in the office. Again, I recognize how lucky I am and that my husband and I worked our asses off to be where we are now. This is just my first time leveling up in my career as a mom and the primary breadwinner for my family. We both grew up from families who worked hard but struggled financially. That’ll always be with me and I feel a strong pressure from within myself to provide the best life possible. I don’t need to be uber rich, just enough to never have to worry about medical care, food, housing, and maybe even a vacation or two a year and to give back to the people in our lives when we can.

I’m going to speak to my current CEO on Monday and leave it open enough for her to counter offer if they choose. Even for more money and a VP title, is it worth staying and giving up another great opportunity when it is not clear exactly how long this great, cushy job will be around for?

If you were in my shoes? What would you do? Thank you to anyone who actually takes the time to finish my rant, let alone offer input.

I don’t post a lot here but I am so lost and feel compelled to ask Reddit. I recognize I’m lucky to be weighing two good job options in this economy, but for this first time I’m approaching this as the breadwinner in my family that now includes my 10 month old son. So I ask, what would you do?

A. I’ll start by saying I love my job. I’ve done what I do well and it has been acknowledged. I am basically entirely remote and absolutely love that freedom and thrive in this setup. Especially since I had my son 10 months ago. Really good benefits and PTO. There is no one more senior within my department, though my title is Director and that hasn’t changed yet. Not to brag but I’m a real pillar of this lean startup over the last few years, and I’ve had recent conversations with the CEO about my path to become a VP. The downside is it has still yet to be proven out as a successful business. There’s a lot to believe in but the other senior leadership besides the CEO have no clue what they are doing and we are at the point now where it’s having real consequences and can potentially sink us if not corrected. A few of us voiced these concerns recently but the outcome is still TBD. We are well funded but that could change if we don’t perform. This last part for me is my biggest concern.

B. I wasn’t really looking but saw my exact job post for a very prestigious company in my industry. To my surprise I was made an offer, $10k more than I make now but Tuesday-Thursday is in the office (though there seems to be some flexibility for one offs like illness or dr appts). Not sure all of the benefits and PTO just yet because I’m waiting for the full details in writing. But a much more proven out company overall and an opportunity to grow a big part of their current and future business. My biggest concern is that originally I was told I’d report someone in c suite, and then over the course of interviewing I learned they restructured some things and now I’m reporting to a VP. I’ve been a director for many years now and I worry this will add another few years before I can show growth in title. I voiced this and they said there is room to grow and I do see that is something they do but there is no guarantee of what and when anything would be coming to me understandably.

Beyond some of the career pluses and minuses I mentioned, although I LOVE remote work I worry it may hinder my growth in any company not like my current one. At least this new one is only three days in office with flexibility and a doable commute?What if I stay and it goes under and then I am forced to take something 100% in office out of desperation?

There is also that leaving my son to use days and only seeing him 2-3 hours a day on those days truly breaks my heart. I’ve been with him every day since birth, never more than a floor away, and getting to see him on short breaks and during lunch/ what would be commute time. I’m extremely lucky that my husband is on leave for now and we agreed will stay home for the foreseeable future being the amazing dad he is to be around for our kid/future kids and run a small business we have on the side. My parents are around, and while somewhat limited, do whatever they can to help and would be around the days I’m in the office. Again, I recognize how lucky I am and that my husband and I worked our asses off to be where we are now. This is just my first time leveling up in my career as a mom and the primary breadwinner for my family. We both grew up from families who worked hard but struggled financially. That’ll always be with me and I feel a strong pressure from within myself to provide the best life possible. I don’t need to be uber rich, just enough to never have to worry about medical care, food, housing, and maybe even a vacation or two a year and to give back to the people in our lives when we can.

I’m going to speak to my current CEO on Monday and leave it open enough for her to counter offer if they choose. Even for more money and a VP title, is it worth staying and giving up another great opportunity when it is not clear exactly how long this great, cushy job will be around for?

If you were in my shoes? What would you do? Thank you to anyone who actually takes the time to finish my rant, let alone offer input.