I 30F went on 5 dates over 5 weeks with 32M. Conversation flowed, we never ran out of things to talk about, we laughed, dates lasted 4-7 hours. He initiated and planned all 5 dates. We didn’t have sex but we did do other things which were great and really hot, tender and intimate in my opinion. We said we liked each other. He said he was hoping I’d feel that way. We chatted over text 6x per week. He’d send me pics and updates about his day. He was super engaged. He invited me to stop by his family’s pool day (before date 3!) to which I said I wasn’t ready yet. Offered to bring me soup when I was sick. Made a Spotify playlist for me. Told me he told all his friends and family about me.
We went to the movies on the 5th date and I thought it went well. He had is hand on my thigh the whole movie, walked me home, said he wanted to see me again, and then kissed me goodnight. But after 5th date, no plans to see each other again. Today he texts me and tells me he doesn’t feel the “spark” and it wouldn’t feel genuine to continue seeing each other.
How could my experience have been so different from his? Am I delusional for feeling like we did have a spark/chemistry? How did I misread his behavior and interest? How/why was he acting so into me if there was no spark?
What is this elusive “spark” that I always seem to feel but the other party doesn’t even though their behavior indicates otherwise?
I will say, he brought up his ex a few times in a way that made me feel he hadn’t fully processed the attachment loss. Told me he still had pictures of them on his phone because it felt too sad to erase his memories. But also told me he wasn’t happy in the relationship and the relationship wasn’t sustainable.