u/Fabulous_Dirt_1764

I have been married to my wife for 16 years, but sleeping with other men the entire time. Its something I have struggled with for a long time now, I know its wrong and I try not to submit to those urges. But after it keeps building and building I always cave. Then comes the deep regret, why do I do this, why do I betray her and my family. We have a decent sex life, its not that. I believe its stems for childhood sexual trauma. I care for her, but I just cant seem to stop myself from doing it. I am not religous yet I find myself praying to God for help during my regret. Im tired of feeling like a POS, and im searching for advice and guidance on how to calm these demons.