RESOLVED: thanks for all the comments. Decided to pick up the phone and call! Whoever called him out as a gen'x-er with texting issues was right 🙄 Good to go for next week and all other time sensitive comms will be phone call first.
I, 40f, have been on 11 amazing dates with a man, 53, over the last 6 months. We are long distance and both dabbling in poly/enm. Very much a friend with benefits situation. When we are together, everything is perfection. Overnights and brunches and outings and all the things. When we are apart, his communication is incredibly spotty. I might get a reply in 10 minutes, I might get a reply in three days after I have texted him again about something else. But, usually it's within a few hours.
I am aware he has a busy life, as do I. Both work professional jobs, both have kids, both have friends/lives. But this past week, he left me on read twice which has only happened once or twice before. Both times I had asked a question. One not so important (monday), one time sensitive (wednesday). Finally I followed up again Friday. He responded right away saying he hadnt completely read the messages above, but now that he was caught up, he realized he might have a kid obligation the night of our next date - that is what the text was in reference to. Totally understand! So I say, no problem, I am also available these other nights. Lets keep the original plan until you figure out the kid thing. Note he did NOT cancel the date, he said in his msg he was trying to get his co-parent to help instead.
That was Friday afternoon, now it's been another 48 hours and have not gotten an update since. I do know we are long distance and I know we are just FWB, but I cant help feel a tiny squeeze of annoyance but also self conciousness! He is always a little hard to communicate with and firm up plans with but never like this. I do not want to be annnoying but I do need to make plans! He has acknowledged many times he is a bad planner, and I have been on the receiving end before, but that was earlier on in the friendship.
Therefore, I was planning on calling him, fuck the texts (and yes we have communicated by phone occasionally so he wouldnt be weired out by a cold call) to just get this shit sorted out. Is today desperate and losery? Do I wait until tomorrow? Or is this guy trying to shake me off?
The visit is NEXT WEEK, supposedly, and a) Id like to know if its happening, b) what day, if so!
There are concert tickets to be sold in all of this but the optimistic part of me hates to give up hope. Would love to hear some perspective.