I, 33F, have been in a relationship with my current fiancé (38M) for almost 5 yrs now.
We're waiting to be more financially ready to have a wedding, but the kicker is: I'm the soul breadwinner for both of us.
I work doing art commissions for clients, and while it's not riches, I make enough for us to get by for the both of us with some budgeting. He currently is not employed.
He left his job 4 years ago when he left his previous state to move in with me here and its been a struggle not only find a job when they're open but...also getting him to look outside his comfort zone...dare I say a little picky.
So I've been paying for everything for the last 4 years. I've also been cleaning and cooking these past 4 years on top of work WITH some mild criticism sprinkled here and there cuz I'm wasn't on top of it atm.
I KNOW everyone is gonna tell me to dump him, he's lazy and a waste of space and resources but
...I do love him. We click so well I cannot explain; topics and subjects, moral standings, and just...we mesh so well.
We talk and talk, we set goals and plans but nothing really changes... :(
Why do I put up with being walked over? I'm a recovering people pleaser, and still have yet to grow one of these Spines ™️ people keep talking about.
Like...we wanna move back to his old state, and get married SOMETIME in the future, but part of me is missing my solace in being single.
He's going on a month-long trip to another state to volunteer to do some work over the summer...key word is volunteer, aka I'll be staying behind at home, working and funding this excursion.
I do genuinely love him...but I'm tired boss. All he needs is a job, everything else; I'm fine with! Maybe my standards are buried but...someone like me doesn't get much attention very often, heh...
At this point...the only reason I haven't broken things off is because he's broke...flat broke. No money to his name. Again something I would need to fund. Him traveling back to his state, packing, gas, rent/deposit in new place; all outta my pocket. I cant afford to breakup.
He's not on my lease, has his own car, and has no family to fall upon. Yeah maybe some friends or acquaintances he can, probably, but i just...can't...
WIBTAH or anything, if I considered dumping him, especially when he's out volunteering this summer? I...dont know how much longer I can take it...
...I'm sorry...