Even if I spend years in therapy, will I only live to love?
It’s a constant battle. My life only revolves around the people I love. Right now the only constant person in my life is my boyfriend. We live together. When we argue I feel like my entire world is shattering. My brain switches off and I instantly start thinking- how can I fix this? He’s so mad at me right now what if this is the last straw? Should I just give up and end my life now? I can’t progress in any part of my life if I feel like we aren’t okay, even if I’m just overthinking. I called out of work because I’ve been dealing with a bad tooth infection but as long as I continue taking the medicine I was prescribed I could have made it in to work. But I didn’t because I felt so exhausted and drained and hopeless. I couldn’t stop overthinking, I thought he didn’t love me anymore. I was contemplating suicide for two days. Will it always be like this no matter what? I want to learn to live for myself. But I don’t want to leave him.