Honestly I’ve struggled with depression my whole life, and I was finally able to conquer fighting off my demons.
But now, I’ve had probably the worst two months of my life. My 10 year old dachshund died suddenly of a brain tumor. He was my life and my reason for happiness, I got him after my dad died when I was 16 and he saved me and now he’s gone because I couldn’t save him back. I found out that the biopsies taken from my body were LOST in transit so I have no way of knowing if I have cervical cancer. The procedure was traumatizing and invasive and it was all for nothing. The next Monday I got verbally abused so badly at my job I had to quit. I found another job just for it to be cancelled due to technical issues , and it was a job I really liked and thought was important. My friends/family are always mad at me and my ex boyfriend basically thinks I’m a piece of shit loser because I am not emotionally available enough to be with him and I may never be able to be with him, and ot leaves me feeling so guilty. My entire family was torn apart after my grandma died two years ago and no one talks anymore.
I feel like these ridiculously unlikely horrible things keep happening to me and it’s like a cosmic fucj you I don’t want you to be happy. I don’t even know what to do anymore I laid in bed all week crying and doing nothing and I can’t snap out of it this time. I don’t want to be here anymore I cause everyone pains including myself