u/External-Bed-7768

My boyfriend (M19) and I (F19) have been dating for about a year and a half. We were friends in high school, started out dating before college and ended up going to the same university. We have the same interests and get along well and spend a lot of time together. I found out around January that he had been viewing porn all throughout our relationship which we had established we thought was cheating. He told me it was an addiction, and that someone knowing made it so he actually had to face it and he would stop. He reassured me he thought I was beautiful and he would be honest from here on out. In March we almost ended it because he told me it was very difficult for him whenever I got upset as it made him feel so guilty like it was eating at him. We were able to talk about things and moved on, how in May I found out that during March he viewed porn twice. He told me it was a few seconds as he felt too guilty to do it and he felt too scared to tell me. I try being supportive of him, but I found out that the women he looks for are very specific and very opposing to me. It feels like this is what he wants physically, and it is so opposite of me I don’t know what to think. I want to believe he will stop but he didn’t stop last time when he swore he would, and he told me he would tell me which he didn’t but I understand he was scared. He also told me before it was about the actions and not the people but
obviously that is not the case and I just feel so u