Made mistakes with someone in my college group, got publicly shamed, feeling lost
I’m 20 and recently got into college. Before college started, I tried too hard to make connections with people from the batch through Instagram/texting. I ended up becoming overly familiar and flirtatious too quickly with a few girls, and it made them uncomfortable. One of them was much younger (16-17) than me, which made the situation much more serious.
Things escalated badly in group chats, people called me creepy, posts were made about me, many people unfollowed me, and I publicly apologised multiple times. I genuinely did not intend harm, but I now realise intention alone does not erase impact.
Since then, I’ve been spiralling with shame, panic attacks, fear about college, and fear that this incident will permanently define me. At the same time, a few older people in my life have told me that college social drama often feels permanent in the moment but fades over time, especially if someone reflects, learns, and behaves better going forward.
I’m not looking for validation or to attack anyone involved. I know I made mistakes and needed to learn boundaries and pacing. I think I just need perspective from people older or more experienced:
How do you move forward from a public social mistake without letting it define your entire identity?