I just wanted to share this somewhere I may be understood
I just, wanted to get this off my chest and share it. If anyone understands anything I’m trying to say, you’re not alone. I turned 30 recently and this just vomited out my brain.
I hit 30. I’m an adult now. No question about it. You can’t deny it, you couldn’t call me a liar about it. Everyone agrees that 30 is an adult.
I hit 30 and knew I’d be taken seriously now.
I hit 30 and knew you’d listen to me now.
I hit 30 and I knew you’d care about me now.
I hit 30 and I was wrong.
Like I always was. Like I always am.
When it comes to you.
I hit 30 and I was wrong about it all.
You don’t take me seriously, you don’t treat me like an adult and you question everything about me.
I hit 30 and nothing changed.
I hit 30 and you still never asked how I am, who I am or what I do.
I hit 30 and I realised, oh god it’ll never change.
I hit 30 and felt shame engulf me for being so foolish.
I hit 30 and disappointment rained over my body.
I hit 30 and I finally accepted it.
I hit 30 and accepted it will always be this way.
I hit 30 and told myself, it doesn’t matter how old I become, how wise I behave, how caring I appear..
I hit 30 and knew id never have a mother, I never did.