Friend expects free babysitting
One of my close friends Katie is the first in our friend group to have a baby. She and her husband don’t have family nearby, which I genuinely empathize with.
But lately it feels like our friend group has become her default unpaid babysitting pool. The requests are usually for non-emergency things like concerts, date nights, outings, etc., and often involve full bedtime routines, not just watching the baby for an hour.
What’s starting to bother me is:
- she’s never paid anyone to babysit,
- they can absolutely afford a sitter,
- and it’s beginning to feel expected instead of appreciated.
One situation that especially rubbed me the wrong way was when we all thought we were going out together, but one friend ended up staying behind to babysit while the rest of us went out.
I feel conflicted because I understand parenting without nearby family is hard, and maybe someday she’d help us with our future kids too. But right now it feels very one-sided, especially because most of us are still trying to enjoy our child-free stage of life before we have children soon.
Is this just what friendship/community looks like once someone has kids, or is it reasonable to feel resentful when the babysitting starts feeling expected?