My girlfriend [23F] and I [22F] are going long distance and I feel like Im going to ruin the relationship
I (22F) am going long distance with my girlfriend (23F) for the summer, and maybe even longer.
My gf is leaving for the summer to work, and she’s gonna be at least 20 hours away by plane, so very far away. She’s excited about the trip and the change of scenery, and feels it will be good for her as a person and for her growth. I couldn’t agree more, and I’m extremely excited and happy for her and what this means for her. I wish her all the best and know this will be a life changing experience for her. On the other hand, I’ve had a lot of downs lately, got rejected from multiple unis, other aspects of my life went to shit in a way, and im staying in our hometown for the whole summer. There’s also the possibility that i get accepted to one of the final unis that I’ve applied to, which would make the situation more complicated and stressful as we’re not gonna see each other for longer, and upon her return home I wouldn’t be there.
Again, I’m so happy for her and so happy about the opportunity she has, bit I can’t help but feel miserable that I’m being “left behind”. I know it’s on me to find things to do on my own, but lately ive been finding it very hard to, as I have little to no desire to do anything. I feel like she’s gonna change a lot and learn a lot after the trip (in a good way) and I’m scared that i won’t be able to catch up or again, that im gonna spend my whole summer being miserable and that its gonna ruin our relationship.
Im usually very ambitious, have never had a fear like this since I look to surround myself with people who are better than me in some way and that I can learn from and improve myself with, so this feeling is very new and unpleasant.
I’m so overwhelmed with everything and feel like my life is falling apart. I know its very dramatic and there are much bigger problems, but im probably also going through an early 20s crisis. Additionally, my girlfriend is also not as concerned about any of this, as she has a million other things on her mind right now regarding her departure, and this is not exactly a priority to her, which I understand, but it still hurts.
I feel all over the place and any objective advice would be appreciated as I feel like ive went over this so many times that ive lost the plot. I also apologize because half of this doesn’t make any sense but I don’t know how to properly write down everything that’s been going on.