u/Extension-Fact-9361

Context: I want to make this clear that this relationship was CASUAL. We were not boyfriend and girlfriend.

Whenever we got done having sex the very first question he'd ask me is, "When can I see you again?" He would ALWAYS ask that either the evening of or the next morning at the very latest.

I like him, I just feel he was too high maintenance for me. Sometimes when I would refuse to commit to a hard date he would suggest certain days and be like, "If Monday wouldn't work, how about Wednesday?" "How about this day? How about that day?"

If I would refuse to commit or set plans in stone, he would say "You know what, we're through. Don't bother contacting me again."

Almost every single time I would cave and I would let him come over even if I didn't feel up for having company because I liked him and I thought to myself, "It's not worth losing a friendship over."

A lot of times I didn't want him over was because sometimes I feel like relaxing at home, ordering a pizza and watching YouTube videos is more fun than having sex.

I tried to compromise and said to him, "I'll tell you what. Why don't we see each other once a month?"

Him: "Fuck that noise! That's way too little! I need to see you WAY more than that!"

On a Wednesday he called me and I ignored it. On Thursday he shot me a text saying, "Can I see you Saturday?" He also called me, I didn't pick up and he shot me a text saying, "Oh, I see how it is. You're gonna ignore me? See ya." On Friday he send me another text saying, "So, have you had enough time to sleep on it? Can I see you Saturday? Haha slacker! 😛" On Saturday he sent me a text saying, "I wanna penetrate you."

My Reply: "I get that you're excited about the next time you'll see me. But please respect my answer of "I'll let you know". You pressing me over and over is not going to change my answer. I will schedule a day and time for you to come over at my convenience. I have told you this already. Do not pressure me. You are very persistent and I don't like that."

Him: "Then it's time to say goodbye."

He didn't contact me for another 50 days. And when he did he called once and didn't shoot a text.

I was more than happy and I was willing to continue seeing him, but if I couldn't see him as often as he wanted, that wasn't good enough for him.

Warning...very long vent ahead.

When I started working in my company's clinic my first client was a level 1, pretty much general ed kid and we got along great. Potty trained, wants to make friends with his peers, no tantrums or severe emotional problems, has normal interests for a 6 year old boy that age and understands danger. Then later I was told his family was taking a break, and that he should be back in about a month. I was reassigned to a kid who was the polar opposite...non-verbal, had no sense of danger, (like he would run in front of a moving car and have no idea that it could kill or injure him) he was a serial eloper and put non-food items in his mouth and swallowed them. He was not potty trained, and I was instructed to take him to the bathroom once every hour. Yes, this is the case I was assigned when I had only been an RBT for as little as a month. Most ABA clinics utilize a “bathroom buddy” but I was all on my own. It would have been very helpful to have another coworker walk him to the bathroom with me because it was hard doing it alone. We’d get to the bathroom door and he’d elope again, and all that effort to get to the bathroom would be wasted.

 

In the bathroom there were two stalls and both were occupied. One time my non-verbal client invaded a supervisor’s space and leaned on her. She said, “I have a bad shoulder. Can he give me space?” I apologized and quickly led him away from her. Later, she sent me an email saying, “Client Dignity Follow Up”. She said, “You and your client happened to see my client getting her diaper changed and that is a violation of her dignity.” I was taken into the office and scolded about how inappropriate I was being and how I violated that client.

 

First, because of his disability, my client doesn’t understand boundaries. I promise you he’s not gawking at her or trying to be a pervert. He doesn’t know any better. Second, moms change their kids in the ladies’ room all the time. If I’m in the ladies’ room and a mom is changing her son and I happen to see his penis, does that make me a sex offender now? Apparently, it does according to this company. Now, if I had taken a picture of this girl getting her diaper changed and I uploaded it to Facebook, that would ABSOLUTELY be a violation of client dignity! But I would NEVER do anything that in a million years! Third, if the stall next to you wasn’t occupied, we would have used it. Fourth, if it’s that big of a deal and you can’t risk any staff or kids seeing your client getting her diaper changed, why couldn’t you have said, “Hey, nobody’s allowed inside the bathroom now because we’re in the process of a diaper change.”? Lastly, you KNOW I’m NOT a pedophile because you did a background check on me. Getting that email and getting scolded in the office like that is totally unnecessary and insulting.

 

They never told me how aggressive this client would be. Another RBT had to leave work early to get stitches on her finger because he bit her hard enough. He would throw blocks into the air which would accidentally hit other kids in the face. The supervisor on the case only touched base with me once a week (if that) so I was doing the job of 3 people on my own. This business is extremely unsafe for employees like the girl who had to get stitches and unhelpful for more severe clients.

 

Stop sending novices to deal with extreme behaviors. Novices should be put on level 1, potty trained. verbal cases with mild behaviors like the kid I worked with in the beginning. When I was hired, I was enthusiastic, great and everything. After working with this severe client, I was defeated and tired. He was the hardest case they had and one where everyone dreads being put on and I had a hard time.

 

I’ll admit, I’ve had my missteps and I made some mistakes during my time there, but whenever I did, I would get an email from the director saying: “There have been some concerns I’d like to address. Meet me in my office at this day and this time.” I have social anxiety and that was super triggering to me. I think the only reason they did that was as an intimidation tactic. By sending those emails, management made me feel nervous constantly. I just want to find a business that will look out for the best interest of me and what I am looking for in my future.

One of those missteps was a dress code violation. I was wearing a top that showed a little bit of midriff if I moved my arms up and down. However, there was a girl who wore a shirt with the Budweiser logo on it, and she got away with it and she did not get a dress code violation. Enforce the rules for everybody and don't be a hypocrite.

 

Lastly, this company would add sessions to your calendar without notifying you. I had a verbal girl client every day in the afternoons, and her family terminated services because they wanted her to focus more on school. I assumed that I was off work the following Monday because I got no texts and no emails that I was working a sub session. However, one of the supervisors called me and called me a no-call no show despite NEVER NOTIFYING ME. I had the same kid the next day, and luckily his mom was very sweet and understanding when I explained to her that the reason I never showed up yesterday was that her son was added to my calendar without my knowledge.

 

It wasn't all horrible. The silver lining is that I met a bunch of awesome kids and some of them grew on me. I also met an amazing coworker who I have a lot in common with. I miss seeing him and I wish we stayed in touch. I'm also glad they didn't overwork me and I didn't work weekends...even though I could have used more hours.