Husband didn’t have my back in an argument with his friend. I feel betrayed.
My husbands friend had a get together Friday and at the end of the night his best friend brought up the fact that my husband and I agreed he’d no longer be going to clubs until 5am. He brought this up damn near attacking me personally and addressing me directly claiming I’m controlling my husband.
The agreement was my husband would make more time for his friends at reasonable hours especially considering we have kids. Apparently his friend was upset about this because “he’s a night owl”.. I’ve said many times I’d love for him to make more time for his friends within a healthy timeframe. Even if he comes home at midnight I find that reasonable, but they choose to go partying until 5am. I’m not comfortable with this and we agreed this would change.
At the party the friend said they all discussed behind my husbands back how they think I’m controlling him and how he should prioritize his friends. My husband sat in silence and said NOTHING… I even cried out of frustration because I am 0% controlling… I’ve even planned boys trips for my husband to make sure he has time with friends…. I would never try to keep him away. My husband just chooses to spend time with myself and our kids because he’s a grown man and that’s his priority. But in this moment he said nothing… he just watched it happen and I had to walk away to gather myself. He didn’t come check on me or nothing… that night I told him how it made me feel like shit that he didn’t have my back or couldn’t diffuse the situation and he said he was too tired to discuss it.. he went to bed, fine. Now he’s saying he understands where I’m coming from but today when his friend called to finally apologize he not once addressed the manner in which his friend attacked me and simply said “yeah bro I need to prioritize you both equally”… am I an A-hole for expecting him to stand up for me and what we agreed to but also…. Why equally? I’m his wife… I don’t feel value. Should we be equal??