There is a strong urge to go to the police about CSA that happened over 20 years ago at my church, but I feel I don't have enough specifics or information. So I worry it will just end up going nowhere. But I know there were other child victims, however I don't see specific faces or know the names in my memories except for one man who is still alive and active in the church, so I could report him, but it was a group of men involved, not just this one man. Many of my abusers could be dead by now. And all I have are memories that have resurfaced. There are some specific details of the abuse but I genuinely don't know what police could do in the States or if they would even CHOOSE to investigate.
I've been debating for awhile about all of this, the pros/cons of reporting. I've talked with my therapist, and with a victim advocate from my church. I have their support and have brainstormed with them. But I am really scared that reporting will just make me more suicidal. Even though I also know that if nothing is found, or the police chose to not even open up an investigation, that the abuse still happened. It's not like I need validation that it was real or not. I just know the abuse was bigger than me and I know in my heart that it was organized and more people knew (due to the access with the location, and my consistent memories of it being multiple abusers in this one place).