I (21,M) had a crush on this girl (20,F) from my club like from the mid of last year (Sep 2025), (her eyes was the one which made me fall for her, still gives me chills), but she was always busy on her phone and only talks to her friend circle. I am really introverted, socially awkward and on the quieter side, so whenever I see her, my heartrate goes up and I panic, words get stuck on my throat. So we just say hi, but mostly we don't even have a conversation.
Story starts from even further back in time, when I texted her through Instagram on doing a collab duet song cover. She agreed, I did all the work and it turned out to be a huge hit among our club, so much so I Inspired some of my co-members to come up with such collabs.
One day I decided to open up my feelings for her. I was sure I am going to screw it up if I say this to her in person, so, on Feb 18th I typed up my confession (first ever in my life) in notes, took screenshot and sent to her as a "view once message". I am a Leo, she is an Aries, I never had a girlfriend ever, she never had a boyfriend ever too, so my hopes were really high.
The message goes something like this:
"Hello
I don’t think you’ll see this, but I wanted to take this off my chest. If you happen to see this, it may come across as a little bit strange. I’m shy to say you this in person, that’s why I chose to text you. The thing is, I don’t know but something about you, maybe your aura, your radiant energy, or your talent, really makes me curious to know you better. I’ve always tried to strike up a conversation, but you just appear to be very busy. Your kindness also is very attractive.
That day when I brought the idea of a duet cover forward, you could have just backed out of it thinking it wouldn’t work (that’s what I thought too initially haha), but to my surprise, you chose to stay and support me for doing it, that too when you were busy with your internship work. It still means a lot to me. From that moment, my respect for you skyrocketed.
Anyways I would absolutely love to know you better sometime we meet. Just keep this between us if you can, because seriously, nobody has to know."
She replied "I think we should talk in person", which gave me butterflies in my stomach. I couldn't wait to talk to her in person, but it got delayed due to our busy schedule.
On 22nd of the same month, she replied
"Hi
I told I wanted to see you in person because I don't like to discuss things like this over text. I got project presentation, and after that I'll go home. So we won't be able to meet anytime soon. I don't want to stretch this any further and I'll come straight to the point.
Honestly, I have never seen you anything more than a co-member in the same club. so if you want a short answer to your question, It's a no. I hope you respect my decision. And don't worry I won't make this awkward when we meet in person"
I felt weak on my limbs, I felt like everything is falling apart, my mind froze, and I just couldn't process what just happened. For days I felt numb, and just cringe thinking about what I have done. Now I just avoid seeing her, as seeing her reminds me of her message. (Still her eyes though, I've never seen such beautiful eyes before in any girl). Healing from this is a herculean task, as I have to fight with the image of her I made in my own mind. So I am still struggling to move on. Hitting the gym helped a little, but at nights whenever I feel very lonely, I feel like an idiot and sob.
However when I talked to my friends about this, they told I was stupid, and that I should have known her better before doing what I've done.
Now I'm having just one more year before graduation. So should I try again after getting to know her better, or just move on and forget about her completely? How should I even act if I see her in person ever again?