I (M19) am currently in a very confusing situation with a girl (F22) I met once in person during a group trip and now interact with regularly via video calls. We are both students in high-pressure fields and while we’ve built a strong "study buddy" dynamic, I’m seeing some non-verbal cues that look like attraction, but I’m struggling to trust them because of her shy personality and the distance.
The "Green Light" Signs:
- When we met in person, we spent the whole day walking around the city. On the bus ride back, she fell asleep next to me.
- Our mutual friend told me that later that night, she woke up from a nap specifically to ask if I was still hung up on my recent ex and if the mutual friend had feelings for me. She seemed relieved when the answer was "no" and immediately fell back asleep after confirming multiple times
- When we are on FaceTime and I get flustered or blush, she laughs and literally hides her smile/lower face behind the oversized sleeves of her hoodie
- She added me on a personal health/habit-tracking app where we can see each other’s daily data (food, step count, etc.). We both also share clips of our lives (kinda similar to BeReal however multiple times a day and with short clips instead of photos. Note: this is a group context with our mutual friend)
- She has started scolding me when I don’t eat properly sometimes, mirroring the protective way I check in on her. When I check on her during her high-stress exam phases, she responds with very "touched" emojis and thanks me specifically for "caring"
The "Red Light" Doubts:
- Even though we’ve had 1-on-1 talks before, she often defaults to group language. If I suggest a call, she’ll often mention "you and [mutual friend]" instead of just "you." It makes me wonder if she’s using our friend as a buffer
- She can go multiple days without replying when she’s stressed out because of uni. Logically I know she’s at a library, but the silence makes it super hard for me tbh
- She is naturally a very sweet and polite person. I keep worrying that all these signs are just her being an incredibly supportive friend to someone she knows went through a hard breakup a bit ago
- She recently suggested we put off deeper talks/hanging out properly until after her final exams are over (which is two months away). Is this a "please wait for me" or a "let's keep this low-pressure so I don't have to reject you yet"?
The Question: How do shy people typically show romantic interest over video/text when they are under extreme stress? Is the "hiding behind sleeves" and the "checking my ex-history" a definitive tell, or could this all just be a close friendship?
I’m trying to be the kind of stable anchor for her during her exams but the interpretive labor of trying to read her is starting to feel physical. Any insights on the body language of a shy person in a digital friendship would be gladly appreciated