u/Expensive-Purple-431

I feel like my ADHD drives people away. Making friends is easy and in office spaces I'm well liked but I don't have any meaningful connections besides my partner. It always seems to start off well but as I get more comfortable with them they get less engaged. I never lose friends thru something big like a fight they just disappear. It's like people just get tired of me. My current closest connections are basically just my partners friends who are friendly but only really tolerate me. I know Im high energy and can be loud/annoying but I try. When I do something that obviously upsets people around me I do my best not to do that again. Maybe I'm just an energy vampire or something. Just being around me drains people. It feels like something is intrinsically wrong with me that drives people away. I'm deathly afraid that even my partner will be tired of me one day and I'll be alone. Honestly sometimes I would prefer to just become a hermit in the woods. At least that way people wouldn't trample all over my heart. I care about the people around me so much and it hurts every time to know that none of them feel the same for me. I just feel alone.