u/Expensive-Bear-2785

I always got bullied back in childhood. Not getting invited to any kinds of friends group, not having circle at school, whenever I try to talk or invite people to eat with me, they always sat far away and told me to sat in another bench.

I moved school quite a lot, nothing really changes. My parents always say I’m the “wrong” one here, so I tried harder, talk more, invite people, give people present, but at the end, everyone has their own group of friends and I’m always alone.

Until my parents realize that, I’m not the wrong person here, I really try to be good and friendly with everyone. Despite my introvert side, I always the one who tried first. I never got mad, I never say no.

Now I’m studying abroad, same things happen, again and again. I left alone with no single group of friends. I tried many things, I try to brought some gifts to them and ask them for lunch and dinner, but once, a girl cancelled it 15 minutes before its time and said they’re too tired. The thing that makes me even more heartbroken is that I already plan the lunch and brought her a gift, now she told me to gave it at university instead:)

Or in other cases, after our hangout, I will always be the one who open up conversation or chat them, if I didn’t do it, they won’t start first.

Once I’m trying to be close with a girl from my nationality, she promises me to do exercise together but at the end she never as me to hangout and did exercise with another friend group.

I do have traumas and sadness, tried to went to therapy and psychologist, but since it happened again and again. I don’t rlly have anything to do except accepting the facts and loving myself even more.

I love books and exercising, so I always go here for my escape from reality. Maybe i was born to be like this?

Any OL pods recommendations?

Never have any friends despite trying really hard :)