u/Exotic_Monitor_4454

so for my WHOLE life, music has been one of my biggest hyperfixations, and i can’t even put into words how it makes me feel. but for some context, i think im a high masking autistic (definitely not as high masking as i was in high school) but i am also extremely embarrassed of crying or like being any kind of emotional, i will try to avoid it at all costs, but for some reason music lately just makes me want to cry? like not a sad cry or even a happy one, it just activates me wanting to cry if that makes sense. but anyways i hate it just cause i know my eyes are all glossy and stuff and bleh. anyone else get this? or know why?

so i’ve used only spotify and youtube music for my whole life basically, even though ive had an iphone since i could buy myself a phone. but ive finally finally switched over simply because apple music is cheaper than a spotify duo account (i pay for my little sisters music too), and so far i love the music quality significantly more, but one thing about spotify i was really starting to hate was that it’s “personally curated” and discover weekly playlists were feeling more and more like people paying for their music to get pushed rather than stuff i specifically like, if that makes sense. now i need to know, does apple music have the same issue? cause i know it’s gotta learn what i like and don’t like but after some time, is the recommendations better curated?

i started on 150mg for a month, then upped it to 300mg. i thought at first it was helping, specifically with the more energy and sexual libido, but now i feel like it’s literally doing nothing? like i don’t even have any side effects aside from the excessive sweating (which is SOOOO annoying omg). does it get better? how many more months should i stay with it before i try something else?