I've been married for six years, and I recently discovered my husband had a five-year emotional affair with an ex, starting when we were engaged. He has been dishonest about the details, often changing his story to avoid looking bad. He also engages in inappropriate conversations with coworkers and has lied about visiting strip clubs.
Beyond infidelity, he's frequently angry and mean, projecting insecurities onto me, yelling, and rejecting my attempts at intimacy. Despite his attention to several other women (which he claims to have stopped), I feel neglected.
Yesterday, after another instance of dishonesty, I decided to consult a divorce lawyer. Now I'm second-guessing myself and considering canceling the consultation. I feel overwhelmed and unsure. How do you know when you’ve had enough pain in a relationship?
Other details: we have two young kids, I’m recovering from severe post partum depression (during which, he was extremely supportive), we’re both in individual and couples therapy